Jokes Quotes - Page 10

• Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why.

  Chris Hardwick

  Writing, Ideas, Laughing

  "Crafting a Joke: The Arc of an Act" by Chris Hardwick, www.wired.com. May 24, 2010.

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• What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.

  Carlos Mencia

  Stupid, Comedian, Sophisticated

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• I still don't really know what my style is. I like a lot of different kinds of comedy, I like watching it and I like being inventive and original. That's the problem with doing a longer set - you can't do every joke that you have because some stuff contradicts other stuff. Even when you know that the audience knows that you're joking and it's not true, you still can't do a joke about your family dying and then later talk about your Mom. I mean you want to keep some kind of cohesive order going.

  Bonnie McFarlane

  Mom, Mean, Order

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• I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit.

  J. B. Smoove

  Brain, Next, Gears

  "JB Smoove, comic and torturer". TheWrap.com Interview, www.reuters.com. January 20, 2012.

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• I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.

  J. B. Smoove

  Black And White, Night, Clubs

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• I came from the Groundlings Theatre in L.A., and there, you're guaranteed to at least try something out in front of an audience. At 'SNL,' only the best stuff gets picked, and it's taught me a very defined language of comedy. You learn the structure of a joke, which is not something I was very good at beforehand.

  Taran Killam

  Theatre, Trying, Stuff

  "Taran Killam on the SNL Christmas Show". Interview with Terron Moore, www.esquire.com. December 20, 2013.

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• When I first started on Twitter, a relative asked, 'Aren't you concerned with giving away your jokes?' I don't think of it that way. That's my content, and that's what I do.

  Julie Klausner

  Thinking, Giving, Way

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• The deepest motivation for a lot of artists is obviously the one they all share: their great fear they are a fraud. It's a joke. In my case the problem is not that I don't question myself. It's just that I question other people even more.

  Philip-Lorca diCorcia

  Motivation, Artist, People

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• I often joke that 100 years from now I hope people are saying, 'Dang, she looks good for her age!'

  Dolly Parton

  Years, People, Age

  "Dolly Parton Says Giving Back Has Nothing To Do With Being Rich" By Meagan Murphy, www.foxnews.com. June 13, 2011.

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• All the time the joke is that the word "mine" in its fully possessive sense cannot be uttered by a human being about anything. In the long run either [Satan] or God will say "mine" of each thing that exists, and specially of each man.

  C. S. Lewis

  Running, Men, Long

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• A human being having a full emotional conversation with a dog is funny, innately. It's one of those things where you get in a scene and you always go for what is the best joke, and a talking dog for some reason, whatever he says, is hilarious." (about his role wiht a talking dog in the forthcoming MEN IN BLACK sequel.

  Will Smith

  Dog, Men, Emotional

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• Catering on planes, like on British Rail, is a standing joke, but I don't really have a problem with it. I don't quite know what people expect.

  Phil Collins

  People, Problem, British

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• I think I have a reputation for being really serious. In interviews I use big words, but I'm just an emotional goofball. I play practical jokes all the time.

  Darren Hayes

  Emotional, Thinking, Play

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• He's a very funny and very nice man. When you read the script, you want to stick with it. But when you're with Eddie Murphy you've got to improvise. He's always making jokes and making me crack up when the camera's on.

  Raven-Symone

  Nice, Men, Cameras

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• Put in every joke that's not a dud and then let's just start pulling the ones that work the least. You're just constantly sifting until you're left with the biggest chunks of gold. The audience also tells you what some of those chunks are. You can have your own favorites, and then, once you screen it for an audience, the audience tells you what they're entertained by. I feel like that's a big part of it.

  Jason H. Moore

  Gold, Sifting, Bigs

  Source: collider.com

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• When you making a piece of comedy entertainment, the audience is a big component there. You do have to end up getting rid of things that you love, but in the interest of making a movie that's not longer than two hours, and in the interest of when every joke hopefully is good enough, then everybody looks good. You cut things that you love, but ultimately it's for the greater good of making the whole movie better.

  Jason H. Moore

  Cutting, Two, Looks

  Source: collider.com

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• I don't think I would be a good politician. I kid about it when I get a standing ovation. Sometimes I'll say, "I may run for Governor," but it's strictly a joke.

  Liberace

  Running, Kids, Thinking

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• Korean feminism has been swept away by popular culture. It became a sort of old-fashioned trend or a joke.

  Kim Hyesoon

  Feminism, Trends, Culture

  Source: www.guernicamag.com

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• I end up feeling like a spy in the house of ethnicity, you know? Because people will talk around me as they would talk around the people in their cultural group. So I get to hear all the secrets and jokes and you know, I'm a part of every community because of the way I look.

  Sherman Alexie

  Ethnicity, People, House

  Source: www.truth-out.org

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• Stand-up in general is the most raw form of entertainment. There is no pyrotechnics or back-up dancers, it's just live and die by your jokes, that's it.

  Dustin Diamond

  Dancer, Entertainment, Form

  "Interviews: Celebrities from 1980s to Beyond at 'The Hollywood Show'". Interview with Patrick McDonald, www.hollywoodchicago.com. September 6, 2012.

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• Fame is a big joke. Stars need to stop taking themselves so seriously.

  Avril Lavigne

  Stars, Needs, Fame

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• I know what you're thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, so if I couldn't tell jokes this is exactly what I'd be doing.

  Chris Rock

  School, Thinking, Rocks

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• Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they're pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part.

  Kathy Griffin

  Forgiving, Different, Clubs

  Interview with Stephen Thompson, www.avclub.com. February 11, 1998.

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• I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five minutes, or else they're outdated. By the time you've got it to the point that it's strong, it would be 12 years old.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Strong, Years, Political

  "Gottfried's key to political humor" by Patrick Gavin, www.politico.com. August 2, 2013.

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• Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, This is where I wanna be.

  Patton Oswalt

  Fire, Comedian, Sitting

  "Patton Oswalt: The ESQ&A". Interview with Scott Raab, www.esquire.com. March 19, 2013.

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