Jokes Quotes - Page 26

• There are a lot of great jokes you can sit down and write, but that's just a written joke, versus the comedy of the situation. Ideally, you're pulling as much comedy out of the situation as you can.

  John Mulaney

  Writing, Down And, Comedy

  "UPROXX Interview: John Mulaney On ‘Mulaney,’ Louis C.K.’s Advice, And ‘SNL’". Interview with Josh Kurp, uproxx.com. October 3, 2014.

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• I remember writing standup jokes without having done sets. But as soon as I did my first set, it didn't matter. Everything I thought would work didn't work. And everything I was iffy on was funny.

  John Mulaney

  Writing, Done, Matter

  "Interview: Comedian John Mulaney". Interview with Katherine Coplen, www.nuvo.net. April 16, 2015.

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• As professionals, we just try to keep the jokes to a minimum, when we're in a certain situation. When we're not doing that, we're joking.

  Mike Colter

  Trying, Certain, Situation

  Source: collider.com

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• I got to draw shapes. I really like to draw funky, geometric shapes. And I got to use just different fonts and make a joke of how feminine it was, but it didn't even have people in it. To me, it was so exciting and interesting to do that for a while.

  David Rees

  Geometric Shapes, People, Interesting

  Source: therumpus.net

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• I've always been a fan at home. That's the one joke I have with Sam [Champion]. "I've always loved you! I remember wanting to be you in grade school!"

  Chris Cuomo

  Home, School, Champion

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• What I didn't realize is that the writing process for comedies is that you do your table read, and if you aren't funny on that first day during the table read, they take your jokes away and give them to somebody else.

  David Morse

  Writing, Giving, Tables

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• The stuff about film being a collaborative medium is no joke.

  Alex Gibney

  Stuff, Film, Mediums

  Source: collider.com

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• I'd worked with Marlon [Brando] a couple of times, and he was a practical joker. He was far more interested in getting jokes out than getting the words out. We laughed all the time.

  Johnny Depp

  Couple, Brando, Practicals

  "Johnny Depp on His Varied Career, Jack Sparrow, and “Torturing” Leonardo DiCaprio". Interview with Christina Radish, collider.com. February 6, 2016.

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• I'm not really very funny, I just keep recycling jokes.

  Reese Roper

  Recycling

  Source: mousertime.blogspot.com

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• We always joke now like, you know, the more experienced we get making stuff, we're like, "Never leave set without a shot of each of our lead characters driving in the car looking happy, looking moderately blank and looking sad." Because we know we're going to need these things.

  Mark Duplass

  Character, Car, Stuff

  "Jay and Mark Duplass Don’t Want ‘Togetherness’ Season 2 to Disappoint You". Interview with Liz Shannon Miller, www.indiewire.com. February 19, 2016.

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• And usually I'm not watching the screen. I'm kind of sitting and looking off to the side, spying on people to see what they react to' cause it's - as Joe Ranft used to say, you know, animation is like telling a joke and waiting for three years to see if anyone laughs

  Pete Docter

  Years, People, Laughing

  "It's All In Your Head: Director Pete Docter Gets Emotional In 'Inside Out'". "Fresh Air" with Dave Davies, www.npr.org. February 19, 2016.

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• The moment I do any puppy dog acting, I think the joke is dead. It's in the truth of how I play it, and the real painful honesty that I approach my performance with.

  Jason Gann

  Dog, Honesty, Real

  Source: collider.com

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• I had done an interview with 'Hello' magazine. In it, they asked me if I was going to marry Emily Blunt. Of course, what was I going to say? I said, 'Oh yeah I am going to marry her and I love her and all of this stuff.' It's true. I was making a joke. They said to me, 'Have you asked her?' I said, 'Have I? Maybe I am asking her through the magazine.'

  Michael Buble

  Asking, Done, Magazines

  "Patiences pays off for Michael Buble". The Associated Press Interview, www.today.com. May 26, 2007.

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• All jokes aside, it's a very difficult job playing the straight man. Jason is potentially the most brilliant straight man that ever was because he's also really funny while doing it, which is even harder. I've always seen myself playing characters who are flawed. We use comedy in our lives to obscure the drama.

  Will Arnett

  Jobs, Drama, Character

  "Will Arnett Is Ready To Confront His Own Demons". Interview with Andi Teran, www.elle.com. March 10, 2016.

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• I feel like a lot of comedies out are just the same consistent joke.

  Pell James

  Comedy, Consistent, Feels

  Source: collider.com

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• Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about. Donald Trump's rule at that time, the only thing that you couldn't joke about was a suggestion that he has less money that he claimed to.

  Ben Domenech

  Years, Suggestions, Comedy

  Source: www.cbsnews.com

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• I think the biggest shift for me is - this is going to sound like a wanky actor, but - getting in touch with, and learning to not just appreciate, but actually really enjoy being a woman. Because for so long I was a jock, and I was an athlete, and I was a tomboy, and people would joke about like, fancy dress, you should go as a girl.

  Zoe Bell

  Girl, Athlete, Thinking

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I use a lot of humor, and I follow the saying that if you want to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh first, otherwise, they will shoot you. So I can tell you a joke and maybe you will laugh at the beginning. But it's not about telling jokes.

  Sayed Kashua

  People, Laughing, Use

  "'It's A Surviving Tool': 'Native' Tells Satirical Stories Of Life In Israel". "All Things Considered" with Kelly McEvers, www.npr.org. February 12, 2016.

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• The music director, Stephen Oremus, was telling me: "I hope you've done your work." We only have ten days rehearsal. The music is no joke. My solo singing is not that hard. But the stuff I have as part of the choir or as a "Dead Guest" in the second-half... I'm singing some really incredible chorus stuff that I haven't done in a long time. It's extremely difficult.

  Max von Essen

  Long, Singing, Done

  "Max Von Essen: High-Notes in High-Heels". Interview with Eugene Lovendusky, www.broadwayworld.com. January 14, 2008.

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• My role is almost a sight-gag. I have to be a woman to sing the lyrics "I am a man" to have it be a joke. I start the lyric in a male-register and a whole coloratura up into a soprano. And other points in the show... like the guy who likes to be treated like a baby and wear a diaper!

  Max von Essen

  Baby, Men, Sight

  "Max Von Essen: High-Notes in High-Heels". Interview with Eugene Lovendusky, www.broadwayworld.com. January 14, 2008.

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• I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself.

  Sam Kinison

  Couple, Church, One Day

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• Everybody I know is a joke writer.

  Ron White

  Knows

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• You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

  Ron White

  Years, Twelve, Albums

  Interview with Guy MacPherson, www.guymacpherson.ca. October 24, 2006.

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• They make a fuss about Hogsmeade, but I assure you, Harry, it's not all it's cracked up to be. All right, the sweetshop's rather good, and Zonko's Joke Shop's frankly dangerous, and yes, the Shrieking Shack is always worth a visit, but really, Harry, apart from that, you're not missing anything.

  J. K. Rowling

  Missing, Shack, Dangerous

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• We are all susceptible to the pull of viral ideas. Like mass hysteria. Or a tune that gets into your head that you keep humming all day until you spread it to someone else. Jokes. Urban legends. Crackpot religions. Marxism. No matter how smart we get, there is always this deep irrational part that makes us potential hosts for self-replicating information.

  Neal Stephenson

  Smart, Urban Legends, Self

  "Snow Crash". Book by Neal Stephenson, 1992.

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