Jokes Quotes - Page 24

• When you people have a set up joke and the joke is set up straight and the words are just well written, I always say "C'mon, humans don't speak that way."

  Will Gluck

  People, Way, Speak

  Source: collider.com

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• The government, the state, they're just objects of jokes rather than serious consideration. I can't possibly take them seriously.

  Joseph Brodsky

  Government, Serious, Consideration

  "Joseph Brodsky's Art of Darkness". www.washingtonpost.com. October 23, 1987.

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• Yeah, we've become really good friends. Our characters start dating in the book, and um, yeah, I think we - and we made up little back stories to our characters and little outtakes that we'd bring up to Edgar as a joke, and you know, kind of see different sides of stuff. So yeah, we have a really good time.

  Johnny Simmons

  Book, Character, Good Friend

  "Johnny Simmons On Set Interview SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD - Read or Listen Here". Interview with Matt Goldberg, collider.com. May 25, 2010.

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• And writing comedy and it really taught me how to kind of like craft jokes, it sounds like weird but really focus on crafting jokes and trying to make the writing really sharp. At the same time I did improv comedy in college, and that helped with understanding the performance aspect of comedy, you know, because it's different when you improv something vs. when you write it and they're both kind of part of my process now.

  Nicholas Stoller

  Writing, College, Focus

  Source: collider.com

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• Cable news is 24 hours long so you have to fill it up with something. No, the Muppets are not communist. And the character of Tex Richman is not an allegory for capitalism in any way. The character is called Tex Richman. It's a joke. Clearly he is a classic, old school bad guy. He's bad not because he works for an oil company but because he's evil. No, it's not a communist movie in any way.

  James Bobin

  Old School, Character, Oil

  Source: www.hollywoodreporter.com

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• Sometimes you look out the window and you look at all the windows, and think inside very single one of them is somebody with some huge, weird, terrible problem, some great jokes.

  Meryl Streep

  Thinking, Looks, Problem

  Source: blankonblank.org

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• Sure, retarded jokes write themselves. But the spelling is always way off.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Writing, Way, Retarded

  Twitter post from Oct 04, 2010

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• I still don't really know what my style is. I like a lot of different kinds of comedy, I like watching it and I like being inventive and original. That's the problem with doing a longer set - you can't do every joke that you have because some stuff contradicts other stuff. Even when you know that the audience knows that you're joking and it's not true, you still can't do a joke about your family dying and then later talk about your Mom. I mean you want to keep some kind of cohesive order going.

  Bonnie McFarlane

  Mom, Mean, Order

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• I don't do too many jokes about current affairs, because almost every comedian always does that.

  Bruce Bruce

  Comedian, Doe, Affair

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• I'm always ready for TV. I don't have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere.

  Gabriel Iglesias

  Tvs, Clean, Ready

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• I don't have to worry about writing jokes. I just tell stories about things that have happened to me. As long as I'm alive and I'm living and I'm experiencing different things every day, the show will always change.

  Gabriel Iglesias

  Writing, Long, Worry

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it's different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me.

  Louis C. K.

  Musical, Different, Pillars

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• When you get off stage, the audience should know a little bit about you. Not where you are from, but how you see the world. And that's the difference between like a Chris Rock joke, and like an open-miker.

  Iliza Shlesinger

  Differences, Rocks, World

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• For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.

  Gary Gulman

  Writing, Years, Records

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• Every week for me was the same audience, and every week they heckled me. The better I got at comedy, the better the audience was at heckling me. But it helped me with my joke writing.

  Felipe Esparza

  Writing, Heckling, Comedy

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• I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

  Felipe Esparza

  Comedian, Mexico, Comedy

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• If it's just the voice, then you can only do jokes. It's not really even about the impression so much. It's about the take and what you do with the person. I try to get a character across with the impression.

  Frank Caliendo

  Character, Voice, Trying

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• I think my one of my strengths in standup is my ability to adlib. I do all my best writing on stage. I can sit down and write jokes, but I'd rather go on stage with a premise or an idea and let the jokes come that way. My creative juices are never flowing any better than when I'm onstage.

  Henry Cho

  Writing, Thinking, Creative Juices

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• My comedy is for adults, but you can have your kids listen to it. They won't get all the jokes because hopefully I'm more cerebral than a 10-year-old... but if you ask my wife, I'm not!

  Henry Cho

  Kids, Years, Wife

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• Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.

  Dov Davidoff

  Writing, Thinking, Blood

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• The deepest motivation for a lot of artists is obviously the one they all share: their great fear they are a fraud. It's a joke. In my case the problem is not that I don't question myself. It's just that I question other people even more.

  Philip-Lorca diCorcia

  Motivation, Artist, People

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• I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.

  Carlos Mencia

  Hurt, Laughter, Cancer

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• Stand-up in general is the most raw form of entertainment. There is no pyrotechnics or back-up dancers, it's just live and die by your jokes, that's it.

  Dustin Diamond

  Dancer, Entertainment, Form

  "Interviews: Celebrities from 1980s to Beyond at 'The Hollywood Show'". Interview with Patrick McDonald, www.hollywoodchicago.com. September 6, 2012.

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• It's interesting, once I have convinced people that, yes, I have a sister with a mental disability, the retard jokes really dry up, so I'm not sure how much retard humor is really going on out there, but I imagine there's a lot because it's a pretty safe group to make fun of. It's not like the Retards of America are gonna rise up and organize a protest. They're not gonna write letters. They only just recently got the Supreme Court to stop executing them.

  Bonnie McFarlane

  Fun, Writing, Dry Up

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• When I first started on Twitter, a relative asked, 'Aren't you concerned with giving away your jokes?' I don't think of it that way. That's my content, and that's what I do.

  Julie Klausner

  Thinking, Giving, Way

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