Jokes Quotes - Page 37

• I stand above the tree level I am a tree I catch wind storm breaths My branches claw I drink sky It stretches me I don't care I catch jokes and luck from tall thin blue air

  Marie Ponsot

  Wind, Sky, Air

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• Humor is an attitude, a survivor’s way of looking at life. It’s not about telling jokes.

  Michael Shurtleff

  Attitude, Survivor, Way

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• I still have access to enough money to live on in order to avoid bankruptcy for at least a few years as long as I stick to my budget Still, there's no amount of money in the world that makes one feel content with having no self respect. There's no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or a failure or ugly or stupid or morally empty.

  Patrick Stump

  Stupid, Feel Better, Thinking

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• I remember every player-every single one-who wore the Tennessee orange, a shade that our rivals hate, a bold, aggravating color that you can usually find on a roadside crew, "or in a correctional institution," as my friend Wendy Larry jokes. But to us the color is a flag of pride, because it identifies us as Lady Vols and therefore as women of an unmistakable type. Fighters. I remember how many of them fought for a better life for themselves. I just met them halfway.

  Pat Summitt

  Hate, Pride, Player

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• U.S. soldiers, with whom I now have more than a passing acquaintance, joke that they track my movements in order to know where they will be deployed next.

  Christiane Amanpour

  Order, Track, Soldier

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• But today, I feel the genuine warmth, the affection, and although I may joke about it, I am touched.

  Perry Como

  May, Today, Affection

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• My music has a high irritation factor. I`ve always tried to say something. Eccentric lyrics about eccentric people. Often it was is joke. But I would plead guilty on the grounds that I prefer eccetricity to the bland.

  Randy Newman

  Irritation, People, Eccentric

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you, father.

  Mary Todd Lincoln

  Father, Never Quit, Quitting

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• It's a joke. Greed and the desire to take drugs are two separate things. If you want to separate the two, the thing you do is make drugs legal. Accept the reality that people do want to change their consciousness, and make an effort to make safer, healthier drugs.

  Jerry Garcia

  Reality, Two, People

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• I am not against marriage - without marriage, ninety-nine percent jokes will disappear from the world. How I can be against marriage? I am all for it.

  Rajneesh

  Marriage, Ninety Nine, World

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• I care more about making sure the story is correct and the characters are behaving in character than I do about the individual jokes.

  Michael Schur

  Character, Stories, Care

  "Michael Schur walks us through Parks And Recreation's third season". Interview with Todd VanDerWerff, www.avclub.com. July 25, 2011.

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• There is laughter, shrill calls. Everyone is flirting, saying in nudges and jokes and blushing what they would do in private

  Jesmyn Ward

  Laughter, Flirting, Nudge

  Jesmyn Ward (2012). “Salvage the Bones”, p.150, A&C Black

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• I don't play the sport for fame. I don't try to win tournaments for fame. I don't do any of that. It's just me. I'm just Bubba. I goof around. I joke around. I just want to be me and play golf.

  Bubba Watson

  Sports, Golf, Winning

  "Solomon: 'Bubba from Bagdad' now a major golf name". Interview, www.chron.com. April 8, 2012.

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• The why is what makes journalism an adult game. The why is what makes policy coherent and useful. The why is what transforms bureaucrats and foot soldiers and political leaders into viable instruments of rational and affirmative change. The why is everything and without it, the very suggestion of human progress becomes a cosmic joke.

  David Simon

  Games, Feet, Leader

  "The escalating breakdown of urban society across the US" by David Simon, www.theguardian.com. September 5, 2008.

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• There is no such thing as too much fun. People need to know it is O.K. to tell jokes and be happy.

  Drew Carey

  Fun, People, Needs

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• All of my jokes were about not being able to meet anybody. I didn't have any insight into anything - even my own insecurities.

  Judd Apatow

  Insecurity, Able, Insight

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• There has to be irony, both in design and in the objects. I see around me a professional disease of taking everything too seriously. One of my secrets is to joke all the time

  Achille Castiglioni

  Design, Secret, Disease

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• One of my secrets is to joke all the time.

  Achille Castiglioni

  Secret

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• That name was a kind of joke, and not a very good one. An author, Leon Lederman, wanted to call it 'that goddamn particle' because it was clear it was going to be a tough job finding it experimentally. His editor wouldn't have that, and he said 'okay, call it the God particle', and the editor accepted it. I don't think he should've have done, because it's so misleading.

  Peter Higgs

  Jobs, Thinking, Editors

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• Too many lives go up in smoke - It's nice to laugh but don't be the joke.

  Janet Jackson

  Life, Laughter, Nice

  Song: The Knowledge, Album: Rhythm Nation 1814

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• Well had the boding tremblers learn'd to trace The day's disasters in his morning face; Full well they laugh'd with counterfeited glee At all his jokes, for many a joke had he; Full well the busy whisper circling round Convey'd the dismal tidings when he frown'd. Yet was he kind, or if severe in aught, The love he bore to learning was in fault; The village all declar'd how much he knew, 'Twas certain he could write and cipher too.

  Oliver Goldsmith

  Morning, Laughter, Writing

  Oliver Goldsmith, “The Deserted VILLage”

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• Mathematics is a collection of cheap tricks and dirty jokes.

  Lipman Bers

  Dirty, Mathematics, Tricks

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• A beautiful problem is no joke!

  Marvin Knopp

  Beautiful, Problem, Mathematics

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• The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.

  Scott Adams

  Laughter, Laughing, Energy

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• Pardew has come out and criticized me. He is the worst at haranguing referees. He shoves them and makes a joke of it. How he can criticize me is unbelievable. He forgets the help I gave him, by the way. The press have had a field day. The only person they have not spoken to is Barack Obama because he is busy. It is unfortunate but I am the manager of the most famous club in the world. Not Newcastle, a wee club in the North-East. I was demonstrative. I am always demonstrative. Everyone knows that. I am an emotional guy but I was not abusive.

  Alex Ferguson

  Inspirational, Emotional, Guy

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