The only way to lose weight is to check it as airline baggage.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.
Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may diet.
Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
We never repent of having eaten too little.
That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
The one way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life.
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.
The best way to lose weight is to know that you are light.
If you're not doing what is best for your body, you are the one who lose.
Anything you do to lose weight should be as easy as it can possibly be and still deliver results.
Most people lose money because of lack of emotional discipline -the ability to keep their emotions removed from investment decisions. Dieting provides an apt analogy. Most people have the necessary knowledge to lose weight-that is they know that in order to lose weight you have to exercise and cut your intake of fats. However, despite this widespread knowledge, the vast majority of people who attempt to lose weight are unsuccessful. Why? Because they lack the emotional discipline.
Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.
Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.
A good way to lose weight is to put salt on your ass and go to a petting zoo. But stay away from goats because I've seen them fornicate with a mail box.
But what we're really trapped by is perceptions. You think you need to lose weight for someone to love you. I think if I gain weight, no one will love me. What we really need is to just stop thinking of ourselves as bodies and start thinking of ourselves as people.
People do lose weight on an Atkins diet. The reason they lose weight is because of calorie reduction. If a person's caloric intake has not fallen, if they are really shoveling in the steak, they don't lose weight.
The argument that making contraceptives available to young people would prevent teen pregnancies is ridiculous. That's like offering a cookbook as a cure to people who are trying to lose weight.
[on having to lose weight] I thought I'll drink vodka instead of wine because it's less calories!
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