An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
Life is too short to drink bad wine.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.
They who drink beer will think beer.
Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer!
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
Life's too short to drink bad wine or smoke poor cigars.
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.
I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.
An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.
Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working.
I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with friends. I've lost 30 pounds.
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