Stand Up Comedy Quotes - Page 4

• When I was 14, I told my mother I was going to drop out of high school and go do stand-up comedy. All she said was 'Oh maybe it's better if you just die,' because it was killing her that I was doing this.

  Margaret Cho

  Mother, School, Comedy

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• Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be like, 'Alright, I got my hour down, people are coming to see me now. Now, I'm going to lean on the mike stand.' No, you gotta work even harder now. You got to top what you already did. Because they'll find someone else.

  Bill Burr

  People, Comedy, Hours

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• You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.

  Bill Burr

  Guy, Able, Way

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• For me, the way I stay consistent is through stand-up comedy.

  Kevin Hart

  Way, Comedy, Consistent

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• Stand-up can take you in so many different places, man. So many doors can be opened up from stand-up comedy, and the first one that was opened up for me was acting.

  Kevin Hart

  Men, Doors, Acting

  "Ice Cube and Kevin Hart pair up for a ride". Interview with Sonia Saraiya, www.avclub.com. January 17, 2014.

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• There's so much you can achieve with a launching pad like stand-up comedy. You can literally go from acting to hosting to being a personality.

  Kevin Hart

  Personality, Acting, Pads

  "The "Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain" Interview". Interview with Kam Williams, pittsburghurbanmedia.com.

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• I missed the whole thing [X-files series]. And I know it went for nine seasons, and I think I saw bits and pieces of it in maybe season seven or eight or something, and then was very busy doing whatever else, stand-up comedy and stuff throughout the world. Now I'm watching the show right from the beginning.

  Rhys Darby

  Thinking, Eight, Pieces

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I mean, there's an aspect I've always said that is - it's, you know, it's not poetry but it's kind of like it. It's not song lyrics but it's kind of like song lyrics. It's not rap but it's kind of like rap. And it's not stand-up comedy but it is kind of like stand-up comedy. It's all those things together.

  Quentin Tarantino

  Song, Rap, Mean

  "Quentin Tarantino: 'Inglourious' Child Of Cinema". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. December 28, 2009.

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• You're on stage and because stand-up comedy is one of the few meritocracies in the entertainment industry, there's some kind of - at least for me, there's some kind of idea of control.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Ideas, Entertainment, Comedy

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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• When I started stand-up - and this is in the '90s - there was definitely people hadn't watched decades of Comedy Central, where people are really much more educated on stand-up comedy.

  Jim Gaffigan

  People, Comedy, Educated

  Source: www.npr.org

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• I was a screenwriting major in college, and really wanted to do that after I graduated, but there are no job listings for that, as we all know. I had many classmates that made it in the business, but stand-up comedy was my way in, and my first film 'Sleepwalk with Me' was based on those autobiographical experiences.

  Mike Birbiglia

  Jobs, College, Way

  Source: www.hollywoodchicago.com

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• I thought if I could do stand-up comedy well enough, I could parlay it back into films - like Charlie Chaplin and Woody Allen did. They merged principles of comedy and drama together, and that's what my first film really was, a stab at that kind of comedy.

  Mike Birbiglia

  Drama, Together, Principles

  Source: www.hollywoodchicago.com

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• I've been to Canada, and they love - oh my God, they love their stand-up comedy in Canada. I've been overseas to do shows for the troops all over the Middle East, and I actually went to China recently and did shows, not for the troops, but just for local Chinese people, and Americans that have moved there, and things like that. It was fantastic. They got it. They're way smarter than we give them credit for.

  Brad Williams

  People, Giving, Chinese

  "Interview with comedian Brad Williams". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• Last night I didn't realize I said "abortion" in my stand up comedy act instead of "circumcision." No wonder I got blank stares at "rabbi got faint at sight of blood."

  Ben Rosenfield

  Funny, Night, Sight

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• My mom and dad are both in stand-up comedy, so that's where I started, that's where I got everything. My roots are holding the mic.

  Pauly Shore

  Mom, Dad, Roots

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• I just love entertaining. I will do anything - stand-up comedy, video games, fencing, internet shorts - I just want to keep being lucky enough to entertain people anyway I can. I try never to limit my art to a medium.

  Matthew Gray Gubler

  Art, Games, People

  "Matthew Gray Gubler: I really won the lottery with this show". Interview with Jarett Wieselman, pagesix.com. March 16, 2011.

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• Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it.

  Jeff Dunham

  Fighting, Tape, Comedy

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I usually have sex to my stand-up comedy album. Power move.

  Jeff Ross

  Sex, Moving, Power Moves

  Source: www.spin.com

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• In the stand-up comedy top, there's room for everyone - if you're good, there's room for everyone. You'll put on your own show - no one casts you. You cast your own show as a stand-up comedian. When you get good at stand-up comedy you book a theater and if people show up, people show up. If people don't show up, people don't show up. You don't have a director or a casting agent or anybody saying if you're good enough - the audience will decide.

  Jim Jefferies

  Book, People, Comedian

  Source: www.portlandmercury.com

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• I can't imagine being a woman in the world of acting, like where you age starts to weigh you down - you go from being attractive to where they [directors] decided you're out... I feel like with stand-up comedy, it doesn't matter if I've gotten fatter.

  Jim Jefferies

  Acting, Age, Directors

  Source: www.portlandmercury.com

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• I'm going to try really hard not to be bossy, but I've only done stand-up comedy and then my own show where you're the total boss of everything!

  Rosie O'Donnell

  Boss, Trying, Done

  "Lunch Date: Rosie O'Donnell". Interview with Carole Radziwill, www.glamour.com. August 30, 2006.

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• I took a job in a comedy club - not doing stand-up comedy, because that's my idea of hell, but in the office - and I went traveling.

  Phoebe Fox

  Jobs, Ideas, Office

  Interview with Emma Brown, www.interviewmagazine.com. November 13, 2015.

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• My sense of stand up comedy would be so esoteric.

  Paul Rudd

  Would Be, Esoteric, Comedy

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• It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.

  Chris Rock

  Special, Done, Want

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Stand-up comedy - I love this job, and I gotta tell you, folks - knock wood - it's been working. 'Cause I was one of those kind of people, even when I had a regular job, I couldn't even call in sick right. You know, I was like, 'Hello? Yeah, I can't come in today. I have scurvy.

  Carol Leifer

  Jobs, People, Sick

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