Week Quotes - Page 2

• Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: "Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?"

  Frank Carson

  Funny, Humor, Doctors

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• When I was a girl, I would make up songs for fun. Then I realized, after making them up, that I could remember how they went a week later - I remember that's when I thought: Maybe I'm gonna be a singer.

  Lady Saw

  Girl, Song, Fun

  Interview with Joshua Jelly-Schapiro, believermag.com. July 1, 2010.

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• I like to write short stories more because I never met a writer who wasn't lazy. And a short story is, by its very definition, short. It is something that generally you can turn out in a week to two weeks depending on how well it goes for you. But, at the same time, it gives the same satisfaction of creating a complete world.

  Stephen King

  Writing, Two, Creating

  Interview with Phil Konstantin, americanindian.net. July 1987.

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• There's nobody who would be willing to do an interview on a regular basis that you can't go and Google and find out what has happened to them in the past week. There's nobody.

  Oprah Winfrey

  Past, Google, Would Be

  Source: wwd.com

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• There are a lot of little tricks you can do to inject a bit more time into the day. Most important is limiting yourself to a 40 hour week, not working 50 hours or 60 or 70. It's just crazy. It's actually irresponsible to you and irresponsible to your family and friends. Why should your employer's profits be more important than your own family? You're not even going to get any of the profits - all you get is not losing your job. It's a very negative system.

  Tom Hodgkinson

  Jobs, Crazy, Important

  "How To Be Idle: An Interview with Tom Hodgkinson". Interview with Katie Renz, www.motherjones.com. June 8, 2005.

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• Revolutions just spread blood. Evolution - this is something that changes in the long term. Because history is long term. But today, we don't talk about history. The past is two weeks ago, and the future is two weeks after.

  Marjane Satrapi

  Past, Blood, Two

  "Marjane Satrapi: Superman is Boring, Batman is Hot, Dictators Are Clueless". Interview with Michael Mechanic, www.motherjones.com. August 6, 2012.

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• I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Humor, Night

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• This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Humor, Years

  "Saturday Night Live Weekend Update" with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, snltranscripts.jt.org. November 20, 2004.

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• I've done coke 'til my nose was bleeding like the fourth week of Lilith Fair.

  Doug Stanhope

  Funny, Humor, Noses

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• Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week.

  Lewis Black

  Funny, Humor, Missing

  "The End of the Universe". Comedy Album, 2002.

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• Your state of consciousness today is not the same as it used to be or as it will be in two weeks or a couple of years from now.

  Harold Klemp

  Couple, Years, Two

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• If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.

  Lewis Black

  Funny, Humor, Garden

  "Rules of Enragement". Comedy album, 2003.

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• I backed horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Horse, Humor

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• I didn't speak a single word of English when I was told that I was one of the lucky students been selected to go to study at the Houston Ballet Academy. I knew I had to study hard in every aspect, in both language and dance, which I did. I put my whole heart and soul into each minute of my day while in America and what an experience those six weeks gave me.

  Li Cunxin

  Heart, America, Soul

  Source: tacdc.com.au

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• I got an E-Trade account. Turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week. Sure, I had to pay some fees.

  Mike Birbiglia

  Funny, Humor, Pay

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• I write five, six days a week. The thing is capturing the voice. I feel like I've been perfecting one voice - in different iterations, sure, but the Russian-ness has always been the undercurrent.

  Gary Shteyngart

  Writing, Voice, Six

  "'Little Failure' Gary Shteyngart on Immigrant Parents and 'Going Memoir'". Interview with Hannah Levintova, www.motherjones.com. January 3, 2014.

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• I go scuba diving. I ski. Watch movies. I take a week of silence every three months in the wilderness. And, besides, I have fun all the time anyway.

  Deepak Chopra

  Fun, Silence, Three

  Source: www.januarymagazine.com

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• I always try and stay one step ahead of people, not looking like I looked like last week, so I can be as anonymous as possible and part of it is just for me. It is fun to just come up with new and bizarre colors for each area of your body and things like that, but there are some parts of it that I just keep wanting to negate myself. I hate waking up in the morning and recognizing the woman in the bathroom mirror.

  Ani DiFranco

  Morning, Fun, Hate

  "Ani DiFranco, Then and Now". Interview with Michael Mechanic, www.motherjones.com. December 13, 2010.

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• The only award I've been nominated for is a Scottish BAFTA. A Scottish BAFTA, it's like hearing that the animals have their own Olympics. You hear all this stuff about TV being faked. Of course it's faked. It's all faked. That documentary a couple of weeks ago about tribal warfare among monkeys, that was all filmed in a Yates wine lodge in Dundee. Comic Relief is faked. Everybody in Africa is fine.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Couple, Humor

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• Exercise is an absolute must. Period. That doesn't mean I'm a gym junkie - it just means that I have to get a few days doing something physical a week, even just for my mental sanity.

  Matthew Hussey

  Mean, Exercise, Sanity

  "Interview With Rising Star Matthew Hussey, Bestselling Author of Get The Guy and International Love Guru". Interview with Nicole Bryl, www.huffingtonpost.com. April 24, 2013.

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• People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.

  George Carlin

  America, People, Choices

  Source: mavericksofthemind.com

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• I wake up to an email from the writers with the new script, and I always get so excited because I know it'll be better all-around than the script from the week before.

  Bailee Madison

  Email, Wake Up, Scripts

  Source: www.etonline.com

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• I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

  Adam Carolla

  Funny, Humor, Two

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• Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Boys

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• I'm not going to be the guy to be 36, 37 years old still trying to hang on and play in the NFL. I'll be 33 in a couple weeks, and there's a million things I want to do with my life before my time is up, which is hopefully 40, 50 years down the line from now at least. So I'd definitely be content.

  Donte Stallworth

  Couple, Guy, Trying

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