Witty Quotes - Page 9

• You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life - so that if it were over tomorrow, you'd be content with yourself.

  Jane Seymour

  Life, Happiness, Believe

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  Oscar Wilde (2010). “Epigrams & Aphorisms”, p.56, BoD – Books on Demand

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• I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

  Auguste Rodin

  Art, Block, Humorous

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• Big Data is like teenage sex: everyone talks about it, nobody really knows how to do it, everyone thinks everyone else is doing it, so everyone claims they are doing it.

  Dan Ariely

  Sex, Teenage, Thinking

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• As I may or may not say to the Lord on Judgment Day, "You ask a lot of questions for someone who has so much explaining to do"

  Robert Breault

  Funny, Humorous, May

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• If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

  Yogi Berra

  Funny, Hilarious, Sports

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• It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Cousin, Humorous

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• I would have made a good pope.

  Richard M. Nixon

  Humorous, Profound, Political

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• I think it would be a good idea.

  Mahatma Gandhi

  Powerful, Humorous, Thinking

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• Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.

  Susan B. Anthony

  Strong Women, Independent, Humor

  Motto of The Revolution (newspaper), 8 Jan. 1868

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• A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Love, Funny, Marriage

  In Newsweek 28 Mar. 1960, p. 89

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• I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

  Bob Hope

  Love, Funny, Money

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• Criticism is prejudice made plausible.

  H. L. Mencken

  Powerful, Humorous, Criticism

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• We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.

  Alanis Morissette

  Love, Funny, Sarcastic

  Song: Perfect, Album: Jagged Little Pill, 1995

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• Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

  Robert Orben

  Funny, Children, Humorous

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• If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

  Laurence J. Peter

  Funny, Revenge, Laughter

  Laurence J. Peter (1979). “Peter's people”, W. Morrow

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• Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny, Humorous, Men

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

  Tom Stoppard

  Truth, Honesty, Humorous

  Tom Stoppard, Paul Delaney (1994). “Tom Stoppard in Conversation”, p.49, University of Michigan Press

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• Art is the only way to run away without leaving home.

  Twyla Tharp

  Music, Dance, Running

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• Men have become the tools of their tools.

  Henry David Thoreau

  Work, Humorous, Science

  1854 Walden, or Life in the Woods,'Economy'.

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• Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

  H. G. Wells

  Jealousy, Humorous, Hypocrisy

  The Wife of Sir Isaac Harman (1914) ch. 9, sect. 2

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• TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

  Frank Lloyd Wright

  Funny, Humorous, Eye

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• You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Football, Country

  Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.231, Simon and Schuster

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• Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies.

  Oliver Goldsmith

  Funny, Lying, Questions And Answers

  Oliver Goldsmith (1898). “She Stoops to Conquer; Or, The Mistakes of a Night: A Comedy ...”

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• In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, War, Doe

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