Witty Quotes - Page 13

• Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

  Daniel J. Boorstin

  Funny, Education, Teacher

  "A Case of Hypochondria". Newsweek, July 6, 1970.

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• There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Depression, Adversity

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• I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men.

  William Shakespeare

  Men, Causes, Wit

  'Henry IV, Part 2' (1597) act 1, sc. 2, l. [7]

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• A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.

  George Meredith

  Beauty, Treasure, Housework

  'Diana of the Crossways' (1885) ch. 1

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• If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.

  Bill Vaughan

  Funny, Hater, Being Different

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• If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

  W. C. Fields

  Dazzle, Baffled, Bulls

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• How can I lose to such an idiot?

  Aron Nimzowitsch

  Funny, Humorous, Ego

  36 Copy quote

• Every woman should have a purse of her own.

  Susan B. Anthony

  Should Have, Purses, Should

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• And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humorous, Might

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• I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Love, Life, Relationship

  You're a Winner, Charlie Brown (1960)

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• The history of most women is hidden either by silence, or by flourishes and ornaments that amount to silence.

  Virginia Woolf

  Silence, Ornaments, Amount

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• Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure.

  William Saroyan

  Inspirational, Motivational, Wisdom

  64 Copy quote

• Why don't you write books people can read?(to her husband James)

  Nora Barnacle

  Husband, Humorous, Book

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• The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, United States, Doe

  "Greenfield: Un-kept promises" by Jeff Greenfield, www.cnn.com. January 24, 2007.

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• My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings

  Jay London

  Funny, Life, Father

  58 Copy quote

• Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish

  Chevy Chase

  Funny, Humorous, Personality

  240 Copy quote

• Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

  Moses Hadas

  Clever, Humorous, Book

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• To obtain an assured favorable response from people, it is better to offer them something for their stomachs instead of their brains.

  Albert Einstein

  Offering, People, Advice

  Albert Einstein (2010). “The Ultimate Quotable Einstein”, p.187, Princeton University Press

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• If you give your life as a wholehearted response to love, then love will wholeheartedly respond to you.

  Marianne Williamson

  Love, Cute, Giving

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

  Steven Wright

  Life, Humorous, Maps

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• I read the book of Job last night, I don't think God comes out well in it.

  Virginia Woolf

  Jobs, Book, Night

  Virginia Woolf (1975). “The letters of Virginia Woolf”, Harcourt

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• Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

  Brooke Shields

  Funny, Life, Stupid

  Testimony at House of Representatives hearings on cigarette advertising, 25 June 1981

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• Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.

  Gloria Steinem

  Marriage, Work, Women

  Speech at Yale University, New Haven, Conn., 23 Sept. 1981

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• Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.

  Elizabeth Taylor

  Sarcastic, Dog, Horse

  Twitter post from Jan 03, 2017

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• If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.

  Harry S. Truman

  Funny, Hilarious, Dog

  "The Wit & Wisdom of Harry Truman".

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