Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.
There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men.
A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure.
Every woman should have a purse of her own.
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
How can I lose to such an idiot?
The history of most women is hidden either by silence, or by flourishes and ornaments that amount to silence.
I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish
Why don't you write books people can read?(to her husband James)
To obtain an assured favorable response from people, it is better to offer them something for their stomachs instead of their brains.
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.
If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
I've been in more laps than a napkin.
I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends
or simply: