Witty Quotes - Page 15

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  Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.

  Oscar Wilde

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  Oscar Wilde (2014). “Epigrams and Aphorisms”, p.14, BoD – Books on Demand

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• There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

  Peter Drucker

  Inspirational, Motivational, Change

  127 Copy quote

• Tell them to stand closer apart.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Funny, Funny Oxymoron

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• Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

  Will Rogers

  Sunset, Political Will, Politics

  31 Copy quote

• Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

  Plato

  Wise, Wisdom, Plato

  480 Copy quote

• Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.

  Albert Einstein

  Inspirational, Funny, Wise

  126 Copy quote

• Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Hilarious, Sarcastic

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed

  Irvin S. Cobb

  Crazy, Political, Wanted

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• Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party

  Winston Churchill

  Leadership, Party, Men

  Winston Churchill (2001). “The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill”, Michael O'Mara Books

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• Only a few things are really important.

  Marie Dressler

  Funny, Life, Happiness

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

  Doug Larson

  Funny, Retirement, Stress

  46 Copy quote

• The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.

  Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

  Funny, Life, Cute Love

  57 Copy quote

• Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Hilarious, Stories

  106 Copy quote

• Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand.

  Angela Lambert

  Sex, Hands, Literature

  14 Copy quote

• Everyone smiles in the same language.

  George Carlin

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  94 Copy quote

• A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Education

  14 Copy quote

• A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.

  Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

  Love, Funny, Life

  Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings (2011). “The Yearling”, p.176, Simon and Schuster

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• Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Life, Death

  Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

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• A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.

  Cyrano de Bergerac

  Men, Noses, Mark

  Cyrano de Bergerac (1965). “Other Worlds: The Comical History of the States and Empires of the Moon and the Sun”, London : Oxford University Press

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• Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.

  Samuel Butler

  Love, Funny, Marriage

  16 Copy quote

• A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.

  Cher

  Funny, Girl, Breakup

  49 Copy quote

• A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

  George Jean Nathan

  Love, Men, I Love You

  George Jean Nathan, Charles Angoff (1998). “The World of George Jean Nathan: Essays, Reviews, & Commentary”, Hal Leonard Corporation

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• That's the trouble with directors. Always biting the hand that lays the golden egg.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Funny, Gratitude, Hands

  9 Copy quote

• I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Laughter, Sorry

  105 Copy quote

• I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Real, Humor

  64 Copy quote