Witty Quotes - Page 10

• When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.

  Henry Fielding

  Hilarious, Children, Doing Nothing

  Henry Fielding (1780). “The history of Tom Jones, a foundling”, p.71

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• You're only as good as your last haircut.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Humorous, Lasts

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• When you realize the value of all life, you dwell less on what is past and concentrate more on the preservation of the future.

  Dian Fossey

  Inspirational, Life, Future

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  I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

  Dolly Parton

  Funny, Inspiring, Girly

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• You never find yourself until you face the truth.

  Pearl Bailey

  Life, Encouraging, Being Yourself

  Pearl Bailey (1969). “The raw Pearl”, Pocket

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• My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

  Emo Philips

  Humor, Kickboxing, Computer

  90 Copy quote

• If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

  W. C. Fields

  Dazzle, Baffled, Bulls

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Girl

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• Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

  Fred Allen

  Powerful, Humorous, Television

  Quoted in Newsweek, 14 Jan. 1980

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• If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Jobs, Humorous

  Woody Allen, Robert E. Kapsis, Kathie Coblentz (2006). “Woody Allen: Interviews”, p.44, Univ. Press of Mississippi

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• Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Happy Mothers Day, Teenager

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

  Victor Borge

  Funny, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

  58 Copy quote

• Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

  Lenny Bruce

  Funny, Beach, Humorous

  85 Copy quote

• You have to love your children unselfishly. That's hard. But it's the only way.

  Barbara Bush

  Love, Thank You, Children

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• Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

  Samuel Butler

  Funny, Children, Humorous

  Notebooks (1912)

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• The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

  Salvador Dali

  Inspirational, Funny, Art

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• Each problem that I solved became a rule, which served afterwards to solve other problems.

  Rene Descartes

  Success, Humorous, Learning

  "Discourse on the Method". Book by Rene Descartes (Part 2), 1637.

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• He would make a lovely corpse.

  Charles Dickens

  Funny, Death, Powerful

  Martin Chuzzlewit ch. 25 (1844)

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• Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him.

  Marlene Dietrich

  Funny, Change, Hilarious

  104 Copy quote

• I like children - fried.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Children, Humorous

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• I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Life, Humorous

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• Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

  Groucho Marx

  Marriage, Funny Love, Horse

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Anniversary, Marriage

  H.L. Mencken “A little book in C major”, Рипол Классик

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• A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

  George S. Patton

  Peace, Powerful, War

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• Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

  Laurence J. Peter

  Funny, Positive, Art

  "Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Time". Book by Laurence J. Peter, p. 362, 1977.

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