Witty Quotes - Page 8

• Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?

  Harry Warner

  Inspirational, Humorous, Silly

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Humorous, People

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

  Casey Stengel

  Funny, Laughter, Humorous

  69 Copy quote

• A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty saying are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string.

  George D. Prentice

  Kindness, Broken, Pearls

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• The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.

  Florence King

  Love, Figures, Tragic

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• I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

  Walt Disney

  Love, Funny, Women

  Quoted inWalterWagner, You Must Remember This (1975)

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• I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure - that is all that agnosticism means.

  Clarence Darrow

  Funny, Powerful, Humorous

  Speech at Scopes trial, Dayton, Tenn., 15 July 1925

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• I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men.

  William Shakespeare

  Men, Causes, Wit

  'Henry IV, Part 2' (1597) act 1, sc. 2, l. [7]

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• A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Running, Inspiration

  53 Copy quote

• It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Humorous, Believe

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• The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

  Emile Zola

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  "Wisdom for the Soul : Five Millennia of Prescriptions for Spiritual Healing‎" by Larry Chang, (p. 55), 2006.

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• Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humorous, Inspiration

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• I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

  Mark Twain

  Money, Funny Inspirational, Riches

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.61, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

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• It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes

  Jay London

  Funny, Dog, Humorous

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• I never said most of the things I said.

  Yogi Berra

  Funny, Baseball, Yankees

  "Yogi Berra, baseball Hall of Famer and New York Yankees catcher, dies at 90" by Alan Evans, www.theguardian.com. September 23, 2015.

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• You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Sarcastic, Badass

  "Churchill 'in the year of Trump': Darkest Hour feeds America's love for Winston" by David Smith, www.theguardian.com. November 26, 2017.

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• The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking.

  Albert Einstein

  Inspirational, Motivational, Science

  1950 Out of My LaterYears.

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• Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

  T. S. Eliot

  Humorous, Writing, Editing

  32 Copy quote

• If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?

  Linda Ellerbee

  Inspirational, Funny, Birthday

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended.

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Funny, Marriage, Wedding

  Quoted in Newsweek, 28 Mar. 1960

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• Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.

  John Kenneth Galbraith

  Funny, Men, Opposites

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Enemies are so stimulating.

  Katharine Hepburn

  Love, Life, Relationship

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• College isn't the place to go for ideas.

  Helen Keller

  Graduation, Educational, Book

  Helen Keller (1967). “Helen Keller, her Socialist years: writings and speeches”

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• Whenever I start feeling too arrogant about myself, I always take a trip to the U.S. The immigration guys kick the star out of my stardom.

  Shahrukh Khan

  Stars, Guy, Feelings

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• We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

  Jason Kidd

  Teamwork, Sports, Stupid

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