Witty Quotes - Page 8

• Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?

  Harry Warner

  Inspirational, Humorous, Silly

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  50 Copy quote

  Show source

• I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Humorous, People

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  59 Copy quote

  Show source

• All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

  Casey Stengel

  Funny, Laughter, Humorous

  71 Copy quote

• A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty saying are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string.

  George D. Prentice

  Kindness, Broken, Pearls

  17 Copy quote

• The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.

  Florence King

  Love, Figures, Tragic

  10 Copy quote

• I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

  Walt Disney

  Love, Funny, Women

  Quoted inWalterWagner, You Must Remember This (1975)

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure - that is all that agnosticism means.

  Clarence Darrow

  Funny, Powerful, Humorous

  Speech at Scopes trial, Dayton, Tenn., 15 July 1925

  61 Copy quote

  Show source

• I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men.

  William Shakespeare

  Men, Causes, Wit

  'Henry IV, Part 2' (1597) act 1, sc. 2, l. [7]

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Running, Inspiration

  53 Copy quote

• It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Humorous, Believe

  38 Copy quote

• The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

  Emile Zola

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  "Wisdom for the Soul : Five Millennia of Prescriptions for Spiritual Healing‎" by Larry Chang, (p. 55), 2006.

  70 Copy quote

  Show source

• Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humorous, Inspiration

  8 Copy quote

• I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

  Mark Twain

  Money, Funny Inspirational, Riches

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.61, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes

  Jay London

  Funny, Dog, Humorous

  14 Copy quote

• I never said most of the things I said.

  Yogi Berra

  Funny, Baseball, Yankees

  "Yogi Berra, baseball Hall of Famer and New York Yankees catcher, dies at 90" by Alan Evans, www.theguardian.com. September 23, 2015.

  11 Copy quote

  Show source

• You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Sarcastic, Badass

  "Churchill 'in the year of Trump': Darkest Hour feeds America's love for Winston" by David Smith, www.theguardian.com. November 26, 2017.

  157 Copy quote

  Show source

• The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking.

  Albert Einstein

  Inspirational, Motivational, Science

  1950 Out of My LaterYears.

  15 Copy quote

  Show source

• Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

  T. S. Eliot

  Humorous, Writing, Editing

  34 Copy quote

• If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?

  Linda Ellerbee

  Inspirational, Funny, Birthday

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  110 Copy quote

  Show source

• Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended.

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Funny, Marriage, Wedding

  Quoted in Newsweek, 28 Mar. 1960

  27 Copy quote

  Show source

• Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.

  John Kenneth Galbraith

  Funny, Men, Opposites

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  71 Copy quote

  Show source

• Enemies are so stimulating.

  Katharine Hepburn

  Love, Life, Relationship

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  9 Copy quote

  Show source

• College isn't the place to go for ideas.

  Helen Keller

  Graduation, Educational, Book

  Helen Keller (1967). “Helen Keller, her Socialist years: writings and speeches”

  11 Copy quote

  Show source

• Whenever I start feeling too arrogant about myself, I always take a trip to the U.S. The immigration guys kick the star out of my stardom.

  Shahrukh Khan

  Stars, Guy, Feelings

  9 Copy quote

• We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

  Jason Kidd

  Teamwork, Sports, Stupid

  23 Copy quote