Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Wit is educated insolence.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
It is terribly amusing how many different climates of feelings one can go through in one day.
Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training.
I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package.
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends