Witty Quotes - Page 14

• There is nothing as tragic as being alive and not enjoying life... Life should be celebrated!

  Joyce Meyer

  Enjoy Life, Alive, Should

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• If you give your life as a wholehearted response to love, then love will wholeheartedly respond to you.

  Marianne Williamson

  Love, Cute, Giving

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I read the book of Job last night, I don't think God comes out well in it.

  Virginia Woolf

  Jobs, Book, Night

  Virginia Woolf (1975). “The letters of Virginia Woolf”, Harcourt

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• I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

  Steven Wright

  Life, Humorous, Maps

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• When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.

  Henry Fielding

  Hilarious, Children, Doing Nothing

  Henry Fielding (1780). “The history of Tom Jones, a foundling”, p.71

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• Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

  Bob Dylan

  Unexpected, Expecting, Expected

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• It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

  Benjamin Disraeli

  Funny, Marriage, Humorous

  Benjamin Disraeli (2016). “Delphi Complete Works of Benjamin Disraeli (Illustrated)”, p.5019, Delphi Classics

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• I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

  Gloria Steinem

  Funny, Marriage, Time

  Quoted in Robert Byrne, The Fourth - and by Far the Most Recent - 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (1990)

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• Where is it written that a smart woman can't also be stacked?

  Padma Lakshmi

  Clever, Women, Smart

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• We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

  Oscar Wilde

  Inspirational, Funny, Positive

  Lady Windermere's Fan act 3 (1892)

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• A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Clothes, Long

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• Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Baby, Humorous

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• He grinned. “Busted. I’m a monster. Jev is my deceptively harmless — and shockingly handsome — alter ego.” “And I’m on top of it,” she announced with witty triumph. “Is that a Freudian slip?” His bluntness caught her off guard. A self-conscious blush rose in her face.

  Becca Fitzpatrick

  Self, Rose, Ego

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• Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

  George W. Bush

  Nature, Children, Stupid

  "You've been a great audience ..." by Oliver Burkeman, www.theguardian.com. January 7, 2009.

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• What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

  George Carlin

  Inspirational, Funny, Mean Girls

  "George Carlin: Jammin' in New York", www.imdb.com. 1992.

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• Big Data is like teenage sex: everyone talks about it, nobody really knows how to do it, everyone thinks everyone else is doing it, so everyone claims they are doing it.

  Dan Ariely

  Sex, Teenage, Thinking

  80 Copy quote

• Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Life, Happiness

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

  Wendell Johnson

  Funny, Educational, Communication

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• I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.

  Oscar Wilde

  Clever, Humorous, Conceited

  Oscar Wilde (1997). “Collected Works of Oscar Wilde: The Plays, the Poems, the Stories and the Essays Including De Profundis”, p.652, Wordsworth Editions

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• Luck is the residue of design.

  John Milton

  Life, War, Humorous

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• Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Powerful, Humorous

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.29, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

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• Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Funny, Marriage, Humorous

  Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.29, BookBaby

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• I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

  Calvin Coolidge

  Funny, Hurt, Morning

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• There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

  Peter Drucker

  Inspirational, Motivational, Change

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• Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

  Will Rogers

  Sunset, Political Will, Politics

  29 Copy quote