Gracie Allen Quotes

Quotes about:

• When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

  Gracie Allen

  Funny Birthday, Funny Inspirational, Women

  31 Copy quote

• My mind works so fast. When I think of something I say it. Lots of times I say it even before I think of it.

  Gracie Allen

  Thinking, Talking, Mind

  52 Copy quote

• This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.

  Gracie Allen

  Food, Silly, Eggs

  65 Copy quote

• I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.

  Gracie Allen

  Water, Needs, Freezer

  46 Copy quote

• A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.

  Gracie Allen

  Fall, Voters, Platforms

  "How to Become President". Book by Gracie Allen, 1940.

  52 Copy quote

• A friend asked her doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, "Thirty-five children is enough for any woman.

  Gracie Allen

  Children, Pregnancy, Doctors

  66 Copy quote

• I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides.

  Gracie Allen

  Differences, Bread, Sides

  57 Copy quote

• Classic Recipe for Roast Beef: 1 large Roast of beef 1 small Roast of beef Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.

  Gracie Allen

  Food, Two, Cooking

  42 Copy quote

• Never place a period where God has placed a comma.

  Gracie Allen

  Funny, Motivation, Humor

  "Two Minutes for God: Quick Fixes for the Spirit". Book by Peter B. Panagore, 2007.

  84 Copy quote

• We favor putting Congress on a commission basis. Pay them for results. If they do a good job and the country prospers, they get 10% of the extra take.

  Gracie Allen

  Country, Jobs, Favors

  76 Copy quote

• They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.

  Gracie Allen

  Stupidity, Arcs, Built

  59 Copy quote

• This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.

  Gracie Allen

  Government, Balance, Used

  67 Copy quote

• Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing.

  Gracie Allen

  Funny, People, Brain

  41 Copy quote

• I think there's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about.

  Gracie Allen

  Thinking, Talking, Worst

  "Say Good Night, Gracie!". Book by Susan Sackett and Cheryl Blyt, 1986.

  12 Copy quote

• Today millions of people are living who will never do it again. Millions are being born for the first time - and millions are doing nothing because it's the best offer they've had this week. It is for these people and many others that the Surprise Party is conceived and desecrated, founded upon the principle that everybody is just as good as anybody else, even though they aren't quite so smart.

  Gracie Allen

  Smart, Party, People

  "How to Become President". Book by Gracie Allen, 1940.

  58 Copy quote

• The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

  Gracie Allen

  Justice, President, Today

  53 Copy quote

• Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

  Gracie Allen

  Funny, Family, Senior

  47 Copy quote

• Gracie: "Don't give up, Blanche. Women don't do that. Look at Betsy Ross, Martha Washington-they didn't give up. Look at Nina Jones." Blanche Morton: "Nina Jones?" Gracie: "I've never heard of her either, because she gave up."

  Gracie Allen

  Determination, Giving Up, Don't Give Up

  28 Copy quote

• I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.

  Gracie Allen

  Inspirational, Funny, Book

  "Funny Ladies: The Best Humor from America's Funniest Women". Book by Bill Adler, 2001.

  41 Copy quote

• Every politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground.

  Gracie Allen

  Feet, Ears, Able

  "How to Become President". Book by Gracie Allen, 1940.

  9 Copy quote

• Try to understand me. Nothing is impossible.

  Gracie Allen

  Trying, Impossible, Understand Me

  "How to Become President". Book by Gracie Allen, 1940.

  24 Copy quote

• My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old.

  Gracie Allen

  Life, Husband, Women

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  46 Copy quote

• All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.

  Gracie Allen

  Country, Thinking, Common Sense

  "How to Become President". Book by Gracie Allen, 1940.

  37 Copy quote

• I'm having my platform run up by a movie set designer, so it will be very impressive from the front, but not too premanent. After all, there's no sense putting a lot of time and thought into something you'll have no use for after you're elected.

  Gracie Allen

  Running, Use, Designer

  "How to Become President". Book by Gracie Allen, 1940.

  32 Copy quote

• A young boy shouldn't be given up for hopeless just because he's lazy, surly, and good for nothing. Don't be discouraged by those things - maybe he's just trying to be like his daddy.

  Gracie Allen

  Funny, Boys, Daddy

  11 Copy quote

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