I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.
Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.
People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.
Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.
I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.
I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
And malt does more than Milton can to justify God's ways to man.
A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into.
Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.
Drink is the feast of reason and the flow of soul.
Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.
I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice.
There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
There is this to be said in favor of drinking, that it takes the drunkard first out of society, then out of the world.
Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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