I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.
No poems can please long or live that are written by water drinkers.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.
No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold.
An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.
One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.
Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
We drink [to] one another's health and spoil our own.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
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