I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT
Don't take life too seriously.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
The second mouse gets the cheese!
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
The actors come in and they make characters their own and so Patrick and I have never been the kind to think that our script is the bible. We want to make sure that the story is told, that you stick to the story but if you have to make changes to the character then that's fine. A lot of times there are some funny one-liners, funny things that happen that are out of the ordinary. I like it.
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