The second mouse gets the cheese!
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Bacteria: The only culture some people have.
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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