Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade....
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
I never said most of the things I said.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
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