George Burns Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• People are always asking me how much I'm worth. Well, all I can say is, I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes.

  George Burns

  Long, People, Lasts

  8 Copy quote

• When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.

  George Burns

  Funny, Here I Am, Age

  "Just You and Me Kid", 1979.

  23 Copy quote

• Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

  George Burns

  Funny, Humorous, Reality

  George Burns, Hal Goldman (1992). “Wisdom of the 90s”, Perigee Books

  16 Copy quote

• I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old. When I was 65, I had Cupid's eczema. I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

  George Burns

  Believe, People, Worry

  67 Copy quote

• Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

  George Burns

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  47 Copy quote

• The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.

  George Burns

  Truth, Heart, Reality

  30 Copy quote

• There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.

  George Burns

  Funny, Sex, Humor

  27 Copy quote

• When I was in Vegas women were throwing their hotel keys at me. But it was after they checked out.

  George Burns

  Vegas, Keys, Throwing

  24 Copy quote

• There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.

  George Burns

  Bed, Way, Dies

  George Burns, Hal Goldman (1992). “Wisdom of the 90s”, Perigee Books

  12 Copy quote

• Young. Old. Just Words.

  George Burns

  Age, Young

  12 Copy quote

• I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.

  George Burns

  Funny, Drinking, Fall

  24 Copy quote

• A married couple that plays cards together is just a fight that hasn't started yet.

  George Burns

  Marriage, Wedding, Couple

  George Burns (1988). “Gracie/Caeser Spec Ed”, Putnam Publishing Group

  14 Copy quote

• My best advice: Fall in love with what you do for a living.

  George Burns

  Falling In Love, Motivation, Work

  15 Copy quote

• In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.

  George Burns

  Honesty, Business, Keys

  11 Copy quote

• Yale men do not like to be told anything by people who didn't go to Yale. The closest I came to Yale was once I had one of their padlocks.

  George Burns

  Men, Yale, People

  George Burns (1988). “Gracie/Caeser Spec Ed”, Putnam Publishing Group

  6 Copy quote

• I thought to myself, 'why not write a bestseller?' In the first place, more people buy them and more people read them. You make more money and it doesn’t take any more time to write a bestseller than it does to write a book nobody buys.

  George Burns

  Funny, Book, Writing

  George Burns (1991). “The Most of George Burns”, Bbs Publishing Corporation

  9 Copy quote

• Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.

  George Burns

  Funny, Sex, Nice

  George Burns (1989). “How to live to be 100--or more: the ultimate diet, sex, and exercise book”, Plume

  14 Copy quote

• If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.

  George Burns

  Laughing, Comedian, Littles

  7 Copy quote

• When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.

  George Burns

  Age, Vitality, Aging

  10 Copy quote

• People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways - I'm still making movies, and I'm a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.

  George Burns

  Senior, Two, People

  14 Copy quote

• If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.

  George Burns

  Girl, Ugly, Married

  7 Copy quote

• This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

  George Burns

  Book, Two, Guy

  George Burns (1986). “Dear George”, Perigee Books

  5 Copy quote

• The happiest people I know are the ones that are still working. The saddest are the ones who are retired. Very few performers retire on their own. It's usually because no one wants them. Six years ago Sinatra announced his retirement. He's still working.

  George Burns

  Retirement, Years, People

  5 Copy quote

• I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.

  George Burns

  School, Kids, People

  8 Copy quote

• Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles.

  George Burns

  Wrinkles, Stripes, Care

  George Burns, Hal Goldman (1992). “Wisdom of the 90s”, Perigee Books

  12 Copy quote

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