George Burns Quotes - Page 5

Quotes about:

• It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

  George Burns

  Age, Aging

  4 Copy quote

• Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

  George Burns

  Funny, Sports, Humorous

  5 Copy quote

• I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up.

  George Burns

  Witty, Glasses, Playboy

  8 Copy quote

• Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.

  George Burns

  Funny, Husband, Boys

  George Burns, Hal Goldman (1992). “Wisdom of the 90s”, Perigee Books

  10 Copy quote

• I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

  George Burns

  Funny, Humor, Age

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

• How can I die? I'm booked.

  George Burns

  Funny, Humor, Age

  9 Copy quote

• What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.

  George Burns

  Once Upon A Time, Today, Actresses

  10 Copy quote

• I smoke cigars because at my age if I don't have something to hang on to I might fall down.

  George Burns

  Fall, Age, Might

  5 Copy quote

• If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.

  George Burns

  Funny, Humorous, Smoking

  8 Copy quote

• When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.

  George Burns

  Art, Keys, Want

  10 Copy quote

• I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

  George Burns

  Coffee, Hands, Drink

  George Burns (1991). “The Most of George Burns”, Bbs Publishing Corporation

  8 Copy quote

• There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.

  George Burns

  Funny, Travel, Children

  8 Copy quote

• Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don't wear anything else on it ... like lunch or dinner.

  George Burns

  Lunch, Advice, Dresses

  George Burns, Hal Goldman (1992). “Wisdom of the 90s”, Perigee Books

  8 Copy quote

• When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.

  George Burns

  Party, Scotch, Rocks

  George Burns (1991). “The Most of George Burns”, Bbs Publishing Corporation

  10 Copy quote

• Say Goodnight Gracie.

  George Burns

  Saying Goodnight

  George Burns, Hal Goldman (1992). “Wisdom of the 90s”, Perigee Books

  7 Copy quote

• Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years.

  George Burns

  Years, Waiting, Trying

  7 Copy quote

• I like women to be attracted to me. See, when you get 60 years old, and they know you're 60, the only women you can get are 55-year-old women, and I like younger women.

  George Burns

  I Like You, Years, Old Woman

  7 Copy quote

• Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... or a bad woman.

  George Burns

  Drinking, Good Woman, Cuban Cigars

  38 Copy quote

• If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

  George Burns

  Inspirational, Motivational, Actors

  8 Copy quote

• From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.

  George Burns

  Funny, Humorous, Paris

  George Burns (1991). “The Most of George Burns”, Bbs Publishing Corporation

  8 Copy quote

• If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.

  George Burns

  Sleep, Firsts, Cigar

  "CNN Larry King Live", July 4, 2003.

  6 Copy quote

• Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'A wise man and his money are soon parted'? And another thing, how does a fool get money in the first place? I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and I won't tell them.

  George Burns

  Wise, Men, Talking

  George Burns (1985). “Dr. Burns' prescription for happiness”, Perigee

  5 Copy quote

• I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

  George Burns

  Believe, Dying, Done

  10 Copy quote

• Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

  George Burns

  Sex, Fun, Lunch

  5 Copy quote

• I'd say that about 82 percent of what I write is bad, but don't go by me; I'm as bad a judge as I am a writer. Look, if it were all good, you'd be paying twice as much for this book.

  George Burns

  Funny, Reading, Book

  "The Most of George Burns".

  5 Copy quote

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