Bottles Quotes - Page 26

• I would say aside from Moxie soda bottles and Masonic artifacts, there's nothing I really collect.

  John Hodgman

  Moxie, Soda, Masonic

  "Bewildered Maine resident John Hodgman takes another crack at our 11 Questions". The A.V. Club Interview, www.avclub.com. September 3, 2015.

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• Advil has a candy coating. It's delicious. Then it says on the bottle, do not have more than two. Then why do they have a candy coating? I cannot help myself. Let me have ten Advil, I have a sweet tooth.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Sweet, Humor

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• Suppose that there's a gene that makes you gay if you were bottle-fed but that has some completely different effect if you were breast-fed. So in the days before bottles were invented that gene would not have manifested itself as gay behavior, but now that bottles are common it can do so.

  Richard Dawkins

  Gay, Different, Common

  "The Geek's Guide to the Galaxy" with John Joseph Adams and David Barr Kirtley, www.lightspeedmagazine.com. December 2011.

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• As nervous as I am to pick up a water bottle, that's how nervous I am to perform. My confidence is very high. I really enjoy going up, I feel like it's my birthday everyday that I have to go up there.

  Gucci Mane

  Water Bottles, Everyday, My Birthday

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• I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Drunk

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• I've always wanted to do blow with Genghis Khan, 'bet that guy knows how to party. I also think a bottle of wine with Hitchcock would've been cool. Also doing shots with the baby Jesus, bet that guy knows how to party.

  Mike Mendez

  Baby, Jesus, Party

  "LatinoBuzz: SXSW Interview With Mike Mendez – Big Ass Spider". www.indiewire.com. March 13, 2013.

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• Parents don't want their children to lose that purity and innocence of childhood. We want to bottle that and hold onto that, but it's impossible.

  Pete Docter

  Children, Purity And Innocence, Childhood

  Source: blogs.indiewire.com

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• The strength of the genie comes from being in a bottle.

  Richard Wilbur

  Inspirational, Inspiration, Genies

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• I wish it was that easy to get turned on for me - at this point, I need a bottle of Belevere and a fighterjet.

  Chelsea Handler

  Funny, Humor, Wish

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• By our very nature, we are a human paradox. We are a human being. The being is infinite and the human is very finite. We walk around like lightening in a bottle.

  Mark Nepo

  Infinite, Paradox, Walks

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• Poetry is the most informative of all of the arts because everything comes down to poetry. No matter what it is we are describing, ultimately we use either a metaphor; or we say "that's poetry in motion." You drink a glass of wine and say, "that's poetry in a bottle." Everything is poetry, so I think we come down to emotional information. And that's what poetry conveys.

  Nikki Giovanni

  Art, Wine, Emotional

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• Name me, if you can, a better feeling than the one you get when you've half a bottle of Chivas in the bag with a gram of coke up your nose and a teenage lovely pulling off her tube top in the next seat over while you're doing a hundred miles an hour in a suburban side street.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Teenage, Names, Feelings

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• One man affirms that he has rode post a hundred miles in six hours; probably it is a lie; but supposing it to be true, what then? Why, he is a very good post-boy; that is all. Another asserts, and probably not without oaths, that he has drunk six or eight bottles of wine at a sitting; out of charity I will believe him a liar; for if I do not, I must think him a beast.

  Lord Chesterfield

  Liars, Lying, Believe

  Lord Chesterfield, David Roberts (2008). “Lord Chesterfield's Letters”, p.104, Oxford University Press

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• All my wife has ever taken from the Mediterranean - from that whole vast intuitive culture - are four bottles of Chianti to make into lamps, and two china condiment donkeys labelled Sally and Peppy.

  Peter Shaffer

  Funny, Taken, Humor

  'Equus' (1973) act 1, sc. 18

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• If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.

  Lewis Black

  Funny, Humor, Garden

  "Rules of Enragement". Comedy album, 2003.

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• You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '69." You see a guy with one arm, he's got a story, too. "Snow blower, bottle of whiskey." You see a guy with one tooth, what would the story be? "Well, uh, I like a lot of taffy."

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Humor, Land

  "Comedy Central Presents: Dave Attell". Documentary, Comedy, 1999.

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• The shortest way out of Manchester is notoriously a bottle of Gordon's gin.

  William Bolitho

  Way, Drink, Gin

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• I kinda expected to turn the bottle and see a recipe. "So that's how you make ice cubes. Apparently you just freeze this stuff. Oh, but you need a tray. That's how they trick you into it."

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, Ice

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• I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, Ideas

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• I remember one time I went to a party and I had to interview Reese Witherspoon. She was just in this movie "Freeway," it's like 1996. To prepare for the interview I went to meet her at this release party, and I end up getting in this fist fight with a guy. I'm not much of a fighter but I get in this fight and the press was all there and they saw me, and all of a sudden the next day in the paper was 'Simon Rex and his posse get in scuffle, and Simon crashes a bottle over a guy's head after smoking crack in the bathroom.' I saved the article forever.

  Simon Rex

  Party, Fighting, Next Day

  "From 'Dirt Nasty' To Rex: An Uncensored Interview With Celeb-Skewering Simon Rex". Interview with Steve Krakauer, www.mediaite.com. July 13, 2009.

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• I love people-watching at the clubs in Los Angeles, where girls make fools of themselves and guys pay thousands of dollars for a couple of bottles of vodka just so they can get a table. It's quite a scene.

  Jackie Collins

  Girl, Couple, People

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• Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy? "Clear out, everybody. I'm working with pills up here. I'm taking them from this big bottle and then I'm gonna put them in the little bottle. That's my whole job. I can't be down on the floor with you people."

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny, Jobs, Two

  "Jerry Seinfeld: 'I'm Telling You for the Last Time'". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1998.

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• I smoke two cartons of unfiltered cigs and down a bottle of American rye whiskey as a warm up, generally. Then swallow beach sand and general aggregate to get some texture in the voice, followed by a stick of butter to smooth it all out. This works for me, but may not be for everyone.

  Roger Craig Smith

  Beach, Two, Voice

  "PSLS Interviews Roger Craig Smith – The Man Under the Hood". Interview with Dan Oravasaari, www.playstationlifestyle.net. February 13, 2015.

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• One thing I've learnt is you should never fight it. They're natural emotions and when you try and bottle everything up, that's what can make you depressed. Luckily I have fantastic memories [about my parents] and they really help.

  Simon Cowell

  Memories, Fighting, Parent

  "Simon Cowell says he has been told when he is going to die". Interview with Clemmie Moodie, www.mirror.co.uk. September 25, 2015.

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• I always have wanted to know how the whole thing was done, what the process involved. And I don't particularly enjoy that my music is stripped of ancillary details, and it just sort of comes out of this big tap called the Internet like water. I like some of my water to be neatly presented in a bottle. With a label on it.

  Brian Eno

  Water, Details, Labels

  Interview with Mark Richardson, pitchfork.com. November 1, 2010.

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