Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.
College is like a fountain of knowledge - and the students are there to drink
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
I drink to make other people interesting.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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