The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
Drinking is a way of ending the day.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Drink is the feast of reason and the flow of soul.
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.
Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
God made yeast, as well as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.
Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter, sermons and soda water the day after.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.
The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour.
I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice.
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