Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.
There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others.
Whiskey, like a beautiful woman, demands appreciation. You gaze first, then it's time to drink.
There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
They who drink beer will think beer.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
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