Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.
I drink to make other people interesting.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.
Well, I wish some of you would tell me the brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals.
Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
I like my whisky old and my women young.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.
The light music of whiskey falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.
Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.
Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.
I'm Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
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