Funny Life Quotes - Page 8

• I think all good drama is funny. All the best drama is ultimately very funny. Life is funny. You can't have any honest treatise on life without bumping into some humor.

  Thomas Jane

  Drama, Thinking, Honest

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea.

  Robert Breault

  Games, Shells, Peas

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• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt

  Darynda Jones

  Hilarious, Argument, Realizing

  Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.143, Macmillan

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• When asked "If you could meet any famous person living or dead," I always ask whether the dead person would be alive again when I meet them.

  Ashish Chauhan

  Would Be, Alive, Persons

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• Darling, when things go wrong in life, you lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail.

  Sophie Kinsella

  Cheer Up, Littles, Cocktails

  FaceBook post by Sophie Kinsella from Dec 07, 2012

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• Life is an incurable disease.

  Abraham Cowley

  Life, Success, Disease

  "To Dr. Scarborough" l. 111 (1656)

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• I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

  Groucho Marx

  Birthday, Inspiration, Age

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• There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.

  Erma Bombeck

  Looks, World, Paradise

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• We are all here on earth to help others.

  W. H. Auden

  Helping Others, Earth, Helping

  W H Auden (1981). “Antæus”, Ecco Press

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• If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.

  Tommy Lasorda

  Funny, Life, Jobs

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• Life is just one damned thing after another.

  Elbert Hubbard

  Life, Success, Justice

  Philistine Dec. 1909, p. 32. The saying is often attributed to Frank Ward

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• I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.

  Oscar Wilde

  Life, Work, Book

  Oscar Wilde (2012). “Oscar Wilde's Wit and Wisdom: A Book of Quotations”, p.3, Courier Corporation

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• I tried to be normal once... worst two minutes of my life.

  Ziad K. Abdelnour

  Two, Normal, Minutes

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• Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.

  Bill Watterson

  Mistake, Wake Up, Awakening

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• When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Depression

  Mark Twain, Bob Blaisdell (2013). “The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain”, p.31, Courier Corporation

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• Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

  Woody Allen

  Sarcastic, Time, Fun

  "Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor" by Bill Adler and Jeffrey Feinman, (p. 4), 1976.

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• Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

  Bill Cosby

  Birthday, Mistake, Coffee

  Bill Cosby (1987). “Time Flies”

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• On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.

  George Orwell

  Wisdom, Time, Vices

  1942 'The Art of Donald McGill'.

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• Don't take life too seriously.

  RuPaul

  Life, Sarcastic, Funny Inspirational

  RuPaul (2010). “Workin' It!: RuPaul's Guide to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Style”, p.12, Harper Collins

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• I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't.

  Woody Allen

  Believe, Past, Reincarnation

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• The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

  Alfred Hitchcock

  Funny, Movie, Humor

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Life, Death

  Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

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• I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

  Yogi Berra

  Funny, Drunk, Waiting

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• A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Laughter, Children

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• You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.

  Hunter S. Thompson

  Vegas, Hands, Fear And Loathing

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