Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them....well it's killing me!
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
I used to smoke two packs a day and I just hate being a nonsmoker.... but I will never consider myself a nonsmoker because I always find smokers the most interesting people at the table.
I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of all statistics.
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
A cigar has "...a fire at one end and a fool at the other."
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!
I tried to stop smoking cigarettes by telling myself I just didn't want to smoke, but I didn't believe myself
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.
If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
A cigarette is the only consumer product which when used as directed kills its consumer.
If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral.
I DON'T smoke anymore, except on National No Smoking Day as a protest against those who want to control our lives.
Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine.
More than one cigar at a time is excessive smoking.
For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast
The dead drug leaves a ghost behind. At certain hours it haunts the house.
You must have a cigarette. A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?
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