A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to the one you love.
The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
True love stories never have endings.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
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