Humour Quotes - Page 15

• LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Faith, Science, Hands

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.124, 谷月社

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• I think that London is very much like that. I find there's humour in the air and people are interesting. And I think that it's a place which is constantly surprising. The worst thing about it? I think it can be smug and aggressive.

  Colin Firth

  Thinking, Air, People

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• To run this business ... you need ... optimism, humanism, enthusiasm, intuition, curiosity, love, humour, magic and fun, and that secret ingredient-euph oria.

  Anita Roddick

  Running, Fun, Optimism

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• MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Clothes, Dinner

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.164, University of Georgia Press

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• GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Machines, Reason

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.81, 谷月社

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• As Aboriginal people we have always retained our resilience, our humour and our cultural integrity - we will always retain our dreams and a vision for the future for our people.

  Ken Wyatt

  Dream, Integrity, Future

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• The Pope, if nothing else, should be a Catholic. If he were to announce that women would make great priests, except it's a pity that more of them aren't gay, because of the greater compassion they could bring to the task, it might endear him to liberal Catholic commentators , but it would make him something other than a Catholic, in the true sense.

  Declan Lynch

  Gay, Compassion, Catholic

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• A sense of humour is a sense of proportion.

  Khalil Gibran

  Proportion

  Khalil Gibran “The New Frontier and Sand and Foam”, Library of Alexandria

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• Faeries are not fantasy, but a connection to reality. Faeries are irrational, poetic, absurd, and very, very wise. Faeries say there is nonsense in dogma, and sense in nonsense. Faeries express themselves with high seriousness and low humour. Faeries are resistant to all definitions.

  Brian Froud

  Wise, Reality, Connections

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• PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Two, Shade

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.238, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Railroads, Purpose

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.176, 谷月社

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• Laughter is man's most distinctive emotional expression. Man shares the capacity for love and hate, anger and fear, loyalty and grief, with other living creatures. But humour, which has an intellectual as well as an emotional element belongs to man

  Margaret Mead

  Loyalty, Laughter, Hate

  Margaret Mead, Rhoda Bubendey Métraux (1979). “Margaret Mead, some personal views”, Angus & Robertson

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• People, particularly over-moralistic Americans, have often seen me as a pessimist and humourless to boot, yet I think I have an almost maniacal sense of humour. The problem is that it's rather deadpan.

  J. G. Ballard

  Thinking, People, Boots

  "Age of Unreason". Interview with Jeannette Baxter, www.theguardian.com. June 22, 2004.

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• In the twelfth century the Basque fishermen of Biarritz used to hunt whales with deadly efficiency. When the whales sensibly moved away, the Basques chased them further and further, with the consequence that the fishermen of Biarritz discovered America before Columbus did. This is a matter for local pride but on a larger view it is not quite so stunning, since with the possible exception of the Swiss everybody discovered America before Columbus did.

  Clive James

  Pride, Views, Whales

  Clive James (1985). “Flying Visits”

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• With their own record of killing 12 million American Indians and supporting slavery for four decades after the British abolished it, Americans wish to project their historical guilt on to someone else.

  Andrew Roberts

  History, Historical, Guilt

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• In general, life is better than it has ever been, and if you think that, in the past, there was some golden age of pleasure and plenty to which you would, if you were able, transport yourself, let me say one single word : Dentistry.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Past, Thinking, History

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty”, p.2, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• But you must still know to respect other people's faith.'
  'Why? We don't respect any other delusion. We lock up people who believe they're Christ, yet we're supposed to humour those who believe in him.'
  'By definition, faith is irrational: a belief you hold against the normal rules of evidence.'
  'In which case I believe in Jedi

  Michael Arditti

  Believe, People, Locks

  Michael Arditti (2009). “The Enemy of the Good”, Arcadia Books

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• With women, the great business of life is love; and they generally make a mistake in it. They consult neither the heart nor the head, but are led away by mere humour and fancy. If instead of a companion for life, they had to choose a partner in a country-dance or to trifle away an hour with, their mode of calculation would be right. They tie their true-lover's knot with idle, thoughtless haste, while the institutions of society render it indissoluble.

  William Hazlitt

  Country, Mistake, Women

  William Hazlitt (1837). “Characteristics: in the manner of Rochefoucault's Maxims [by W. Hazlitt].”, p.111

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• Danger is a good teacher, and makes apt scholars. So are disgrace, defeat, exposure to immediate scorn and laughter. There is no opportunity in such cases for self-delusion, no idling time away, no being off your guard (or you must take the consequences) - neither is there any room for humour or caprice or prejudice.

  William Hazlitt

  Teacher, Laughter, Opportunity

  William Hazlitt (2004). “On the Pleasure of Hating”, p.31, Penguin UK

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• Diplomacy, n : 1. The patriotic art of lying for one's country. 2. The art of letting someone have your way. 3. The art of saying 'nice doggy' until you can find a rock. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

  Robert Frost

  Country, Art, Nice

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• Many consider that Shostakovich is the greatest 20th-century composer. In his 15 symphonies, 15 quartets, and in other works he demonstrated mastery of the largest and most challenging forms with music of great emotional power and technical invention...All his works are marked by emotional extremes - tragic intensity, grotesque and bizarre wit, humour, parody, and savage sarcasm.

  Dmitri Shostakovich

  Sarcasm, Emotional, Symphony

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• I think that comedians, more than any other type of celebrity, have to keep their humour and keep their feet on the ground. If they start taking themselves too seriously, they're heading for a fall.

  Jimmy Carr

  Fall, Thinking, Feet

  "Preview: Jimmy Carr , Grand Opera House, York November 20" by Charles Hutchinson, North Yorkshire County Publications, November 19, 2004.

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• Life is a campus: in a Greenwich Village bookstore, looking for a New Yorker collection, I asked of an earnest-looking assistant where I might find the humour section. Peering over her granny glasses, she enquired, "Humour studies would that be, sir?"

  Keith Waterhouse

  Funny, Humor, Glasses

  The Spectator, January 15, 1994.

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• London Fashion Week is so different from any of the others. Compared to the strictness in New York, London seems freer from commercial constraints. Truer to the process, to street style, to a sense of humour.

  Alexa Chung

  Fashion, New York, Style

  "Alexa Chung: the forces that move fashion" by Eva Wiseman, www.theguardian.com. March 17, 2012.

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• I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humor doesn't know what he's talking about.

  Jackie Mason

  Art, Philosophical, Talking

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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