After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.
I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.
I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'
Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?
Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.
Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.
Stand up, on this Thanksgiving Day, stand upon your feet. Believe in man. Soberly and with clear eyes, believe in your own time and place. There is not, and there never has been a better time, or a better place to live in.
Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.
Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all.
What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!
Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.
The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.
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