Funny Inspirational Quotes - Page 14

• In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

  Yogi Berra

  Leadership, Reality, Practice

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Our favorite holding period is forever.

  Warren Buffett

  Business, War, Cash Flow

  Lawrence A. Cunningham, Warren E. Buffett (2013). “The Essays of Warren Buffett: Lessons for Corporate America (Third Edition)”, p.63, Carolina Academic Press

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• There are so many distractions you can face as a woman, either with relationships or worrying about, Should I go to this party? or, Should I be doing this to help me get ahead? All [success] is, is doing your work and staying focused. It's boring advice, but boring good advice is what you can get from me!

  Mindy Kaling

  Inspirational, Party, Worry

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• Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

  Winston Churchill

  Inspirational, Funny, Leadership

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• Internet's been down most of the day [at work]. Doing research by just asking everyone what we remember to be true. What could possibly go wrong?

  Rachel Maddow

  Inspirational, Empowering, Asking

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• I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Inspirational, Oysters, Voice

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• A person's a person, no matter how small.

  Dr. Seuss

  Inspirational, Life, Respect

  Dr. Seuss (1998). “Seuss-isms: Wise and Witty Prescriptions for Living from the Good Doctor”, Random House Books for Young Readers

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• The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Relationship, Sarcastic, Communication

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• The rest of the world lives to eat, while I eat to live.

  Socrates

  Healing, Health, Weight Loss

  Quoted in Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers

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• When all think alike, then no one is thinking

  Walter Lippmann

  Success, Creativity, Thinking

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• Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.

  Elsa Schiaparelli

  Funny, Fashion, Women

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Life, Sarcastic, Travel

  "Jerry Seinfeld: 'I'm Telling You for the Last Time'". Documentary, Comedy, 1998.

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• Change is not a four letter word...but often your reaction to it is!

  Jeffrey Gitomer

  Inspirational, Funny, Witty

  Twitter post from Feb 05, 2016

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• In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!

  Dr. Seuss

  Teacher, Butterfly, Diversity

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• The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.

  Maureen Dowd

  Funny, Success, Motivational Sports

  "How to Be Happy: Why You Should Never Settle for 'Good Enough' in Your Life" by Kristen Houghton, www.huffingtonpost.com. June 21, 2010.

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• The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture finished and put inside boxes.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humor, Cutting

  Dave Barry (2001). “All the Dave Barry you could ever want: four classic books in one from America's foremost humorist”

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• People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

  Elayne Boosler

  Baby, People, Giving

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• The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.

  H. L. Mencken

  Inspirational, Funny, Underdog

  H.L. Mencken (2012). “Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.622, Vintage

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• When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.

  George Burns

  Funny, Here I Am, Age

  "Just You and Me Kid", 1979.

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• If you don't know where you are currently standing, you're dead.

  Samuel Beckett

  Baseball, Goals Dreams, Yankees

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• Stop worrying, nobody gets out of this world alive.

  Clive James

  Worry, Alive, World

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Lotto fever hit New York again this week, and like the old saying goes, 'You gotta be in it to win it'... but first, you gotta have a dead end job so pathetic you're willing to kill five hours standing in line for a 1 in 25 million chance.

  Dennis Miller

  Jobs, New York, Winning

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• I used to believe my father about everything but then I had children myself & now I see how much stuff you make up just to keep yourself from going crazy.

  Brian Andreas

  Children, Father, Crazy

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• Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.

  Voltaire

  Funny, Witty, Philosophy

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• He has a heart of gold - only harder.

  Adolphe Menjou

  Funny Life, Heart, Gold

  "Fictional character: Oliver Niles". "A Star Is Born", www.imdb.com. 1937.

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