Our favorite holding period is forever.
When all think alike, then no one is thinking
The rest of the world lives to eat, while I eat to live.
I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.
Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.
A person's a person, no matter how small.
There are so many distractions you can face as a woman, either with relationships or worrying about, Should I go to this party? or, Should I be doing this to help me get ahead? All [success] is, is doing your work and staying focused. It's boring advice, but boring good advice is what you can get from me!
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
Winning is everything. The only ones who remember you when you come second are your wife and your dog.
Change is not a four letter word...but often your reaction to it is!
In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture finished and put inside boxes.
People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.
The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
If you don't know where you are currently standing, you're dead.
Stop worrying, nobody gets out of this world alive.
Lotto fever hit New York again this week, and like the old saying goes, 'You gotta be in it to win it'... but first, you gotta have a dead end job so pathetic you're willing to kill five hours standing in line for a 1 in 25 million chance.
I used to believe my father about everything but then I had children myself & now I see how much stuff you make up just to keep yourself from going crazy.
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.
All good things come to those who wait.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends
or simply: