The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.
He that drinks fast, pays slow.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
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