I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status. Here are some celebrity quotes about Christmas. You will find that just like everybody else, celebrities also enjoy the little pleasures of Christmas.
My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came off!
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is.
I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.
It's not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course - you just follow the wounded.
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you'll promise her anything.
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
Miniskirts have become quite a fad. They're even some guys wearing them. Don't laugh, if you had thought to of that, you'd not be here now.
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.
President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
Louis B. Mayer came out west with $28.00, a box camera and an old lion. He built a monument to himself -- the Bank of America.
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