Bob Hope Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover.

  Bob Hope

  Awards, House, Welcome

  "Oscar host Alec Baldwin may also be nominee" by Gregg Kilday, www.hollywoodreporter.com. November 30, 2009.

  27 Copy quote

• One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.

  Bob Hope

  Laughter, Forever, Balls

  11 Copy quote

• America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Country, Humorous

  6 Copy quote

• A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

  Bob Hope

  Laughter, Heart, Humor

  103 Copy quote

• Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

  Bob Hope

  Mother, Brother, Bed

  4 Copy quote

• Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.

  Bob Hope

  Mcdonalds, Buns, Six

  "Bob Hope's Joke Vault Endures", www.foxnews.com. July 28, 2003.

  33 Copy quote

• I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Running, Humorous

  5 Copy quote

• I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.

  Bob Hope

  Air, Los Angeles, Don't Trust

  11 Copy quote

• Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

  Bob Hope

  Two, Funny Marriage, Comedy

  30 Copy quote

• I don't know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He's done nothing.

  Bob Hope

  People, Done, Carter

  11 Copy quote

• I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it's silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I'm breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That's what gives me the strength to break the club.

  Bob Hope

  Beautiful, Silly, Golf

  13 Copy quote

• Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure.

  Bob Hope

  Girlfriend, Sex, House

  6 Copy quote

• Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands

  Bob Hope

  Moving, Hands, Culture

  13 Copy quote

• I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

  Bob Hope

  Hate, Inspiration, Funny Friend

  20 Copy quote

• Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.

  Bob Hope

  People, President, United States

  10 Copy quote

• Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.

  Bob Hope

  Country, Worry, Over You

  6 Copy quote

• Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Humorous, Night

  28 Copy quote

• I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.

  Bob Hope

  Men, Hands, Ruined

  4 Copy quote

• Your ignorance cramps my conversation

  Bob Hope

  Ignorance, Cramps, Conversation

  9 Copy quote

• A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

  Bob Hope

  Mothers Day, Mean, Motherhood

  20 Copy quote

• I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

  Bob Hope

  People, Liberty, One Liner

  28 Copy quote

• My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

  Bob Hope

  Witty, Sex, Father

  9 Copy quote

• As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete."

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Humorous, Food

  9 Copy quote

• I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.

  Bob Hope

  Giving Up, Golf, Sweaters

  4 Copy quote

• I led such a sheltered life I didn't go out with girls until I was almost four.

  Bob Hope

  Girl, Four, Sheltered Lives

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  5 Copy quote

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