It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.
No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
Fill with mingled cream and amber, I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions clamber Through the chamber of my brain — Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies Come to life and fade away; What care I how time advances? I am drinking ale today.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
For a quart of ale is a dish for a king.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
I drink to make other people interesting.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
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