Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean...Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.
Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.
When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution!
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
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