The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may diet.
I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because Raid really doesn't taste that bad.
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
Pasta doesn't make you fat. How much pasta you eat makes you fat.
A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.
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