Funny Sexy Quotes

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  If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

  Bette Midler

  Love, Funny, Hilarious

  Twitter post from Mar 27, 2014

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• Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

  Billy Crystal

  Sexy, Funny Sex, Being Single

  "Fictional character: Mitch Robbins". "City Slickers", www.imdb.com. June 7, 1991.

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• Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part.

  Aimee Mullins

  Funny, Beauty, Hilarious

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  61 Copy quote

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• The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead.

  Marilyn Monroe

  Cute Love, Romantic, Dance

  122 Copy quote

• Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Sexy, Lying

  William Shakespeare (2006). “The Poems: Venus and Adonis, The Rape of Lucrece, The Phoenix and the Turtle, The Passionate Pilgrim, A Lover's Complaint”, p.100, Cambridge University Press

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• I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Beautiful, Sex

  48 Copy quote

• I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Sexy, Funny Sex, Anti Valentines Day

  33 Copy quote

• My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

  Les Dawson

  Funny, Sexy, Sex Relationships

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.

  Hunter S. Thompson

  Sex, Epic, Love Is

  Hunter S. Thompson (2012). “Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967”, p.124, Ballantine Books

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• Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation... The other eight are unimportant.

  Henry Miller

  Funny, Sexy, Good Sex

  Sexus ch. 21 (1949)

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• Isn't it interesting how the sounds are the same for an awful nightmare and great sex?

  Rue McClanahan

  Sex, Interesting, Sound

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• Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

  Woody Allen

  Love, Funny, Life

  408 Copy quote

• It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be.

  Brigitte Bardot

  Funny, Faith, Sexy

  40 Copy quote

• Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

  Woody Allen

  Movie, Sex, Humorous

  Annie Hall (motion picture) (1977). Cowritten with Marshall Brickman.

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• I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Book, Beer, Self

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• Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Sex, Goodness

  76 Copy quote

• When turkeys mate they think of swans.

  Johnny Carson

  Funny Love, Drinking, Inspiration

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• Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

  Woody Allen

  Love, Funny, Sexy

  Love and Death (motion picture) (1975)

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• These days, the selfie and its main outlet, Instagram, generally come in for much adult loathing. But consider this: The selfie is a tiny pulse of girl pride—a shout-out to the self. … The selfie suggests something in picture form—I think I look [beautiful] [happy] [funny] [sexy]. Do you?—that a girl could never get away with saying. It puts the gaze of the camera squarely in a girl’s hands, and along with it, the power to influence the photo’s interpretation.

  Rachel Simmons

  Beautiful, Girl, Sexy

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• Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

  Sophia Loren

  Love, Funny, Sexy

  Quoted in Leslie Halliwell, The Filmgoer's Book of Quotes (1973)

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• A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are.

  Victor Lownes

  Witty, Sex, Persons

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• Symmetry is pleasing but not as sexy. Einstein is cool but Picasso knows what I'm talking about.

  Amy Poehler

  Sexy, Talking, Symmetry

  Amy Poehler (2014). “Yes Please”, p.141, Pan Macmillan

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• There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Hilarious, Single

  P. J. O'Rourke (1983). “Modern manners”, Dell Books

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• From the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it.

  Bette Davis

  Funny, Sexy, Waiting

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• At once, it’s clear I cannot gush. We try me playing cocky, but I just don’t have the arrogance. Apparently, I’m too “vulnerable” for ferocity. I’m not witty. Funny. Sexy. Or mysterious By the end of the session, I am no one at all.

  Suzanne Collins

  Sexy, Witty, Cocky

  Suzanne Collins (2009). “The Hunger Games”, p.113, Scholastic Inc.

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