Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - Page 2

• I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

  Craig Ferguson

  Funny, Thanksgiving, Football

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• Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.

  Oprah Winfrey

  Inspirational, Thanksgiving, Thankful

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

  W. T. Purkiser

  Thanksgiving, Thank You, Gratitude

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• My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Thanksgiving, Mother

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• Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.

  Kevin James

  Funny, Thanksgiving, Good Day

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.

  Margaret Cousins

  Change, Thanksgiving, Thank You

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” —

  William Arthur Ward

  Thanksgiving, Thankful, Gratitude

  203 Copy quote

• God is glorified, not by our groans, but by our thanksgivings.

  Edwin Percy Whipple

  Thanksgiving, Thankful, Happy Thanksgiving

  Edwin Percy Whipple (1875). “Success and Its Conditions”, p.195

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• If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get.

  Frank A. Clark

  Motivational, Thanksgiving, Thankful

  33 Copy quote

• It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful 'in general.' It's very strange. It's a little like being married in general.

  Cornelius Plantinga

  Thanksgiving, Christian, Being Thankful

  Cornelius Plantinga (2001). “Beyond Doubt: Faith-Building Devotions on Questions Christians Ask”, p.52, Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing

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• We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing

  George Carlin

  Thanksgiving, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

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• Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.

  Stephen Colbert

  Football, Country, Aunt

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• So once in every year we throng Upon a day apart, to praise the Lord with feast and song in thankfulness of heart.

  Arthur Guiterman

  Thanksgiving, Song, Heart

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• I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the 'history' I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America's traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it's a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all.

  Ellen Orleans

  Thanksgiving, Strong, Holiday

  7 Copy quote

• The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.

  William Blake

  Happiness, Thank You, Thanksgiving

  William Blake, David Fuller (2000). “William Blake: Selected Poetry and Prose”, p.133, Pearson Education

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• Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.

  Mike Connolly

  Thanksgiving, Vegetarianism, Turkeys

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• I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'

  Mitch Hedberg

  Thanksgiving, Being Yourself, Fun

  64 Copy quote
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  In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

  Albert Schweitzer

  Inspirational, Motivational, Friendship

  789 Copy quote

• Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.

  Nicole Hollander

  Food, Turkeys, Cooking

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• A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

  Kin Hubbard

  Thanksgiving, Turkeys, Kitchen

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• It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.

  Russell Baker

  Food, Grandmother, Turkeys

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• What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.

  Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• People always think of Chinese food as the go-to ethnic food when everything else is closed during the holidays, but Indian is a nice alternative. Plus - Indians? Thanksgiving? Kinda makes sense.

  Erin Gibson

  Nice, Holiday, Thinking

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• I have had vegan Thanksgiving of tofurkey and soy gravy. And it's not to say that Thanksgiving will ever justify the genocide of the Native Americans. But vegan Thanksgiving - that's just spitting on the graves, isn't it?

  Hari Kondabolu

  Native American, Soy, Vegan

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• You can only govern men by serving them. The rule is without exception.

  Victor Kiam

  Humorous, Men, Great Leader

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