Sarcastic Quotes - Page 22

• Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, 'It was a perfect script for she and I,' inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, 'Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?'

  Dick Cavett

  Teacher, Stars, Father

  Dick Cavett (2010). “Talk Show: Confrontations, Pointed Commentary, and Off-Screen Secrets”, p.12, Macmillan

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• That was a sarcastic remark pointing out that Bill Clinton has, quite a past, and Hillary Clinton has done quite a job on attacking the people who were victims of Bill Clinton.

  Rudy Giuliani

  Jobs, Past, People

  Source: www.washingtonpost.com

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• That I walk around calling people 'dummy' and 'hockey puck'. I do have a different life apart from being sarcastic on stage. I might kibitz around with my friends, but I'm nothing like the person who does stand up. Nothing like that.

  Don Rickles

  Hockey, People, Puck

  Source: glamorosi.blogspot.com

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• Sarcasm is lost in print.

  Jon Cryer

  Sarcasm, Lost, Print

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• A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently; there is a whispering in distant chambers, an unearthly hand presses the snib of the window, the latch rises. Ghosts were created when the first man awoke in the night.

  James M. Barrie

  Halloween, Night, Men

  James M. Barrie (2013). “The Little Minister (Illustrated Edition)”, p.201, Jazzybee Verlag

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• And now I'm using sarcasm, to confess the whole thing so later I could say I already told you.

  Homer

  Sarcasm, Whole

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• If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.

  Mo Udall

  Sarcasm, Vaccines, Conflict

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• Barack Obama is pretty similar to the person you see in public, at press conferences. He's a little saltier, a little more sarcastic and cutting.

  Jonathan Chait

  Cutting, Littles, Conferences

  Source: www.macleans.ca

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• Creative semantics is the key to contemporary government; it consists of talking in strange tongues lest the public learn the inevitable inconveniently early.

  George Will

  Sarcasm, Keys, Government

  George F. Will (1986). “The Morning After: American Successes and Excesses, 1981-1986”, Macmillan Publishing Company

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• Sarcastic Science, she would like to know,
  In her complacent ministry of fear,
  How we propose to get away from here
  When she has made things so we have to go
  Or be wiped out. Will she be asked to show
  Us how by rocket we may hope to steer
  To some star off there, say, a half light-year
  Through temperature of absolute zero?
  Why wait for Science to supply the how
  When any amateur can tell it now?
  The way to go away should be the same
  As fifty million years ago we came-
  If anyone remembers how that was
  I have a theory, but it hardly does.

  Robert Frost

  Stars, Zero, Science

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• Prior to Valentinus, those who follow Valentinus had no existence. Nor did those from Marcion exist before Marcion. Nor, in short, did any of those malignant-minded people, whom I have listed above, have any existence previous to the initiators and inventors of their perversity.

  Irenaeus of Lyons

  People, Existence, Inventor

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• Research is an organized method for keeping you reasonably dissatisfied with what you have.

  Charles Kettering

  Funny, Sarcasm, Science

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• Colombian humor is very black, very sarcastic.

  Barbet Schroeder

  Humor, Black, Very Sarcastic

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• He has such a patronizing tone and manner, and such a sarcastic sense of humor. I found him rather brutal, a kind of elegant brutality which appealed. No, I think he came pretty much off the page.

  Jeremy Northam

  Humor, Thinking, Pages

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• Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

  Kin Hubbard

  Funny, Sarcasm, People

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• We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks. We're real sarcastic. Really ironic and stuff. We mean well, but we joke around probably a lot more than we should.

  Brendon Urie

  Real, Mean, Thinking

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• When you're being earnest, people think you're being sarcastic and when you're being sarcastic, they think you're being earnest. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate.

  Charlie Brooker

  Thinking, People, Moral

  "Charlie Brooker answers your questions: 'I get angry to amuse myself'". Guardian interview, www.theguardian.com. February 6, 2013.

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• An economist is a surgeon with an excellent scalpel and a rough-edged lancet, who operates beautifully on the dead and tortures the living.

  Nicolas Chamfort

  Sarcasm, Economics, Excellent

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• If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.

  Wilfrid Sheed

  Sarcasm, Intelligent, Speak English

  Wilfrid Sheed (1990). “Essays in Disguise”, Alfred A. Knopf

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• Living under capitalism, I like learning to feel comfortable with activity that does not result in success — since non-success is the norm. Trying your best and making it is not the norm — it’s propaganda. Of course I play with notions of hype, too... The entire Comatonse website is a sarcastic hype-engine, sprawling forever, overwhelming the viewer with nothingness.

  Terre Thaemlitz

  Play, Hype, Forever

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• I've learned that I need to spell out, even in cases seemingly so blatant, that in fact I am not taking this at face value and am being 'sarcastic.

  James Fallows

  Needs, Faces, Facts

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• Acting is like roller skating. Once you know how to do it, it is neither stimulating nor exciting.

  George Sanders

  Sarcasm, Acting, Skating

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

  Russell Lynes

  Wise, Insults You, Dumb

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• ...Never tell a ticket agent, "As a matter of fact, I DID accept items from persons unknown to me! A nice man in a chadar gave me this awesome luggage freshener with a clock attached!" Federal regulations require them to have no idea you're joking as they riddle your body with bullets.

  Seanbaby

  Nice, Men, Ideas

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• It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's, boom! There's Valentine's Day. I think there should be one more after Valentine's Day just called, 'Who could love you?'

  Laura Kightlinger

  New Year, Funny Valentines Day, Love You

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