Sarcastic Quotes - Page 25

• The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.

  Bette Midler

  Funny, Success, Jealousy

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• The atmosphere of Venus consists of ammonia, sulfur, and nitric oxide. Man must have lived there once.

  Andre Brie

  Sarcasm, Men, Atmosphere

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• The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Children, Food, Wine

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• Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

  Aldous Huxley

  Funny, Laughter, Fear

  "Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Time" by Laurence J. Peter, (p. 239), 1979.

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• Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.

  Maryon Pearson

  Marriage, Wedding, Men

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• What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not have amounts to much more.

  Seneca the Younger

  Funny, Inspiring, Money

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• Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

  Steve Landesberg

  Funny, Truth, Honesty

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• It shouldn't be too much of a surprise that the Internet has evolved into a force strong enough to reflect the greatest hopes and fears of those who use it. After all, it was designed to withstand nuclear war, not just the puny huffs and puffs of politicians and religious fanatics.

  Denise Caruso

  Funny, Religious, Strong

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• In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry.

  Margaret Laurence

  Funny, Family, Im Sorry

  Margaret Laurence (2014). “A Bird in the House: Stories”, p.90, University of Chicago Press

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• Throughout history in the theater and film people do like sarcastic characters, and they do like curmudgeons - if they're amusing, they do like them despite the fact that they're vitriolic, particularly if they're for the right thing. If you can see that the person is a decent person and is for the right thing, and is not just a nasty person with base motives, but someone who is a decent human but expresses himself.

  Woody Allen

  Character, People, Facts

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• We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends.

  P. D. James

  Funny Friendship, War, Sarcasm

  P.D. James (2012). “Shroud for a Nightingale”, p.327, Simon and Schuster

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• You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

  Hy Gardner

  Funny, Hurt, Sarcasm

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• No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Real, Humor

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• You're constantly, in human culture, trying to balance between uplifting, heartfelt, sincere, earnestness that empowers and enlightens people, and the sarcastic cynicism that comes from just people's acquired bitterness over experiences.

  Seth Green

  Uplifting, People, Empowering

  "Seth Green Talks ‘Yellowbird’, Animation, & Pop Culture Nostalgia". Interview with Andy Crump, screenrant.com. April 6, 2015.

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• Sisters don't need words. They have perfected a language of snarls and smiles and frowns and winks - expressions of shocked surprise and incredulity and disbelief. Sniffs and snorts and gasps and sighs - that can undermine any tale you're telling.

  Pam Brown

  Sister, Sibling, Expression

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• Stay with me; I want to be alone

  Joey Lauren Adams

  Sarcasm, Want, Stay With Me

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• It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

  Thomas Beecham

  Sarcasm, People, Appreciate

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• What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start.

  Danny DeVito

  Funny, Lying, Ocean

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• The little dictator who went to Moscow in his green fatigues to receive a bear hug did not forsake the doctrine of Lenin when he returned to the West and appeared in a two-piece suit. (On Daniel Ortega Saavedra)

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Two, Hug

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• Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.

  Kin Hubbard

  Funny, Book, Sarcasm

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• The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

  Ogden Nash

  Cat, Sarcasm, Trouble

  "The Face is Familiar: The Selected Verse of Ogden Nash".

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• So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

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• Post-​wounded women know that postures of pain play into limited and outmoded conceptions of womanhood. Their hurt has a new native language spoken in several dialects: sarcastic, jaded, opaque; cool and clever. They guard against those moments when melodrama or self-​pity might split their careful seams of intellect, expose the shame of self-​absorption without self-​awareness.

  Leslie Jamison

  Hurt, Clever, Pain

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• The lyrics were my sarcastic way of realizing you can't be the king of the hill all the time.

  Hayley Williams

  Kings, Way, Realizing

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• 'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the world it would still sing to me.

  Mark Twain

  Heart, Worry, Phrases

  Mark Twain (2017). “MARK TWAIN Ultimate Collection: 370+ Titles in One Volume (Illustrated): The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, The Prince and the Pauper, The £1,000,000 Bank Note, A Horse’s Tale, Yankee in King Arthur's Court, The Innocents Abroad, Life on the Mississippi…”, p.8233, e-artnow

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