Sarcastic Quotes - Page 29

• Men heap together the mistakes of their lives, and create a monster they call Destiny.

  Pearl Mary Teresa Craigie

  Funny, Mistake, Sarcasm

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• A married woman is a slave you must know how to seat upon a throne.

  Honore de Balzac

  Sarcasm, Wife, Thrones

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• Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

  Kristen Schaal

  Sarcasm, Print

  Interview with Steve Heisler, www.avclub.com. January 20, 2011.

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• I don't want to get too much into my personal relationships but I will say I am actually doing the single thing right now. I want someone that I can have fun with and laugh with. I love to laugh and I'm really sarcastic, so it's important that she can take a joke. I think if you are going to be with someone for a while you really need someone you can let loose with and let go of all the stress of the day.

  Matt Lanter

  Letting Go, Fun, Stress

  "Five Questions with 90210's Matt Lanter". Interview with Colleen Moody, www.seventeen.com. October 2, 2009.

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• a sarcastic expression, on a beast, is far more sinister than rage.

  Anne Bosworth Greene

  Sarcasm, Expression, Beast

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• I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up.

  Kurt Fuller

  Girl, Growing Up, Class

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.

  Bob Odenkirk

  Daughter, Dad, Funny Fathers Day

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• You have delighted us long enough.

  Jane Austen

  Witty, Sarcasm, Long

  Pride and Prejudice ch. 18 (1813)

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• The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

  Dave Barry

  Baby, Sarcasm, Men

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• I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Humor, Sarcasm

  At night-club in Chicago, Mar. 1964, recorded on Woody Allen Volume Two (Colpix CP 488) side 1, band 6

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• I have this odd tendency to be really sarcastic when I'm uncomfortable and I don't really know why but it just comes out and it's come out since I was a child.

  Mila Kunis

  Children, Odd, Tendencies

  Source: movies.about.com

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• Some people don't get it when I'm being sarcastic.

  Leonardo DiCaprio

  People, Miscellaneous, Being Sarcastic

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• Critics are reprimanded when they get sarcastic. How absurd! Is the torch of criticism supposed to shine without burning?

  Franz Grillparzer

  Sarcasm, Shining, Criticism

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• His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

  Robin Williams

  Golf, Iron, Doe

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• No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have; and I think he's a dirty little beast.

  W. S. Gilbert

  Dirty, Thinking, Littles

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• Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.

  Mark Twain

  Somewhere Else, Advice, Household Chores

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.74, Courier Corporation

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• Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Law, Duty, Jury

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• If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

  Billy Wilder

  Funny, Inspiring, Sweet

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• I suddenly thought about being backstage, and I think it shocks you to meet the people you shared your bedrooms with. And a lot of them either take themselves too seriously or don't know how to take themselves at all. But I wanted to be aware in a very sarcastic way that every song I've written has probably been written about 12-16 times before. And doing that makes it very hard for me to accept serious singer-songwriters in the world, the up-and-comers, the ones who are out there who let that define their every move, who live and die and breathe for it. It's a bit of a tragedy, I think.

  Kevin Drew

  Song, Moving, Thinking

  Source: pitchfork.com

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• PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Tools, Dupes, Patriot

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.179, University of Georgia Press

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• In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

  Mark Twain

  Inspiration, Doors, Weather

  Mark Twain (2008). “Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World: Easyread Edition”, p.165, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Passion, Men, Long

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.189, University of Georgia Press

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• While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Hands, Watches, Safe

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.68, University of Georgia Press

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• CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Heirs, Vegetarian

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2369, Delphi Classics

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• EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Religious, Religion, Damnation

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.57, 谷月社

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