Sarcastic Quotes - Page 33

• America knows nothing of food, love, or art.

  Isadora Duncan

  Art, Food, America

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• Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Life, Friendship

  39 Copy quote

• Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

  Robert Benchley

  Funny, Retirement, Heart

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  In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Witty, Stupid

  207 Copy quote

• The 100% American is 99% idiot.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Sarcasm, Idiot

  35 Copy quote

• He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

  Forrest Tucker

  Nature, Sarcasm, Insult

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• A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.

  Abba Eban

  Believe, Mean, Sarcasm

  30 Copy quote

• If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.

  Eddie Izzard

  Sarcasm, Magic, Trouble

  "Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill". www.imdb.com. 1999.

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• The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.

  Eddie Izzard

  Sarcasm, Gun, Thinking

  7 Copy quote

• I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

  Irvin S. Cobb

  Witty, Powerful, Humorous

  9 Copy quote

• Asking politicians to give up a source of money is like asking Dracula to forsake blood.

  Cal Thomas

  Giving Up, Humorous, Blood

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• Government is like junior high. Your status depends upon whom you're able to persecute.

  Jonathan Kellerman

  Humorous, Government, Juniors

  Jonathan Kellerman (2003). “The Web: An Alex Delaware Novel”, p.105, Ballantine Books

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• History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.

  Clarence Darrow

  Funny, Sarcasm, Carpe Diem

  36 Copy quote

• If you are first you are first. If you are second, you are nothing.

  Bill Shankly

  Funny, Soccer, Football

  72 Copy quote

• Money is the most important thing in the world. It represents health, strength, honor, generosity, and beauty as conspicuously as the want of it represents illness, weakness, disgrace, meanness, and ugliness.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Life, Success, Beauty

  Major Barbara (1907) preface

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• It is a noteworthy fact that kicking and beating have played so considerable a part in the habits which necessity has imposed on mankind in past ages that the only way of preventing civilized men from beating and kicking their wives is to organize games in which they can kick and beat balls.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Sports, Past, Men

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• Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity.

  John Ruskin

  Flower, Humanity, Ordinary

  John Ruskin (1873). “Modern Painters”, p.94

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• I'm stingy and I'm proud of the reputation.

  Ingvar Kamprad

  Funny, Proud, Reputation

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Put every great teacher in a room, and they'd agree about everything, but put their disciples in there and they'd argue about everything.

  Bruce Lee

  Funny, Teacher, Rooms

  40 Copy quote

• Everyone knows what a hypocrite is. That's the guy who gripes about the sex, violence and nudity on his VCR.

  Zig Ziglar

  Inspirational, Funny, Sex

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• Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.

  Quentin Crisp

  Funny, Sex, Lasts

  "The Naked Civil Servant". Biography, Comedy, Drama, www.imdb.com. 1975.

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• Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

  Plato

  Funny, Life, Witty

  254 Copy quote

• Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.

  Publilius Syrus

  Communication, Silence, Intellectual

  "Sentences". Collection by Publilius Syrus. Maxim 914,

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• Almost all of my early art dealt with the fallout from middle-class taboos, the messy, the ambivalent emotions couples felt, the inherent racism, the sexual tensions and the unhappiness roiling below the surface of our prim suburban lives. Meanwhile I was a suburban bad boy - cynical, sarcastic, contemptuous of all authority.

  Eric Fischl

  Art, Couple, Boys

  "Bad Boy: My Life On and Off the Canvas". Book by Eric Fischl and Michael Stone, www.huffingtonpost.com. 2012.

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• Dad made me laugh a lot. He was a real comedian. He had a real sarcastic sense of humour, he could really make a fool out of people. I have to watch it a little bit, because I caught that habit from him. I was really fond of him. He was my idol.

  Julian Lennon

  Dad, Real, Idols

  17 Copy quote