Sarcastic Quotes - Page 32

• The more I see of man, the more I like dogs.

  Madame de Stael

  Funny, Dog, Animal

  27 Copy quote

• It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.

  Woody Allen

  Sarcasm, Years, America

  "A Look at Organized Crime" by Woody Allen in "Disquiet, Please! More Humor Writing from the New Yorker" by David Remnick, Henry Finder, (p. 364), 2008.

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• It is great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people.

  Pamela Anderson

  Funny, People, Expectations

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• I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

  Mark Twain

  Sarcasm, Compliment, Enough

  Mark Twain (2016). “Mark Twain's Speeches”, p.203, Xist Publishing

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• Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.

  Mae West

  Witty, Humorous, Home

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Advertisers in general bear a large part of the responsibility for the deep feelings of inadequacy that drive women to psychiatrists, pills, or the bottle.

  Marya Mannes

  Business, Responsibility, Feelings

  Marya Mannes (1964). “But Will it Sell?”

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• The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare.

  Ed Begley, Jr.

  Food, Yugoslavia, Pork

  16 Copy quote

• America knows nothing of food, love, or art.

  Isadora Duncan

  Art, Food, America

  17 Copy quote

• Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Life, Friendship

  39 Copy quote

• Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

  Robert Benchley

  Funny, Retirement, Heart

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  In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Witty, Stupid

  207 Copy quote

• The 100% American is 99% idiot.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Sarcasm, Idiot

  35 Copy quote

• He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

  Forrest Tucker

  Nature, Sarcasm, Insult

  51 Copy quote

• A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.

  Abba Eban

  Believe, Mean, Sarcasm

  30 Copy quote

• If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.

  Eddie Izzard

  Sarcasm, Magic, Trouble

  "Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill". www.imdb.com. 1999.

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• The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.

  Eddie Izzard

  Sarcasm, Gun, Thinking

  7 Copy quote

• I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

  Irvin S. Cobb

  Witty, Powerful, Humorous

  9 Copy quote

• Asking politicians to give up a source of money is like asking Dracula to forsake blood.

  Cal Thomas

  Giving Up, Humorous, Blood

  7 Copy quote

• Government is like junior high. Your status depends upon whom you're able to persecute.

  Jonathan Kellerman

  Humorous, Government, Juniors

  Jonathan Kellerman (2003). “The Web: An Alex Delaware Novel”, p.105, Ballantine Books

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• History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.

  Clarence Darrow

  Funny, Sarcasm, Carpe Diem

  36 Copy quote

• If you are first you are first. If you are second, you are nothing.

  Bill Shankly

  Funny, Soccer, Football

  72 Copy quote

• Money is the most important thing in the world. It represents health, strength, honor, generosity, and beauty as conspicuously as the want of it represents illness, weakness, disgrace, meanness, and ugliness.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Life, Success, Beauty

  Major Barbara (1907) preface

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• It is a noteworthy fact that kicking and beating have played so considerable a part in the habits which necessity has imposed on mankind in past ages that the only way of preventing civilized men from beating and kicking their wives is to organize games in which they can kick and beat balls.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Sports, Past, Men

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• Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity.

  John Ruskin

  Flower, Humanity, Ordinary

  John Ruskin (1873). “Modern Painters”, p.94

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• I'm stingy and I'm proud of the reputation.

  Ingvar Kamprad

  Funny, Proud, Reputation

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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