Sarcastic Quotes - Page 30

• You have delighted us long enough.

  Jane Austen

  Witty, Sarcasm, Long

  Pride and Prejudice ch. 18 (1813)

  9 Copy quote

  Show source

• The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

  Dave Barry

  Baby, Sarcasm, Men

  7 Copy quote

• I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Humor, Sarcasm

  At night-club in Chicago, Mar. 1964, recorded on Woody Allen Volume Two (Colpix CP 488) side 1, band 6

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright.

  Samuel Butler

  Stupid, Born, Birthright

  4 Copy quote

• An editor should have a pimp for a brother so he'd have someone to look up to.

  Gene Fowler

  Brother, Writing, Should Have

  14 Copy quote

• His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

  Robin Williams

  Golf, Iron, Doe

  6 Copy quote

• No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have; and I think he's a dirty little beast.

  W. S. Gilbert

  Dirty, Thinking, Littles

  41 Copy quote

• Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.

  Mark Twain

  Somewhere Else, Advice, Household Chores

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.74, Courier Corporation

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Law, Duty, Jury

  18 Copy quote

• If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

  Billy Wilder

  Funny, Inspiring, Sweet

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  58 Copy quote

  Show source

• I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is the language I don't understand.

  Edward Victor Appleton

  Funny, Music, Sarcasm

  12 Copy quote

• He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.

  Anton Chekhov

  Funny, Art, Desire

  36 Copy quote

• Size does matter. There's a lot of ways to make people feel good, but personally I think it does enhance things.

  Pamela Anderson

  Funny, Thinking, People

  4 Copy quote

• Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Independent Women, Mind

  Oscar Wilde (2014). “A Woman of No Importance”, p.50, Trajectory Inc

  14 Copy quote

  Show source

• The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.

  Zach Galifianakis

  Fonts, Interviews, Problem

  4 Copy quote

• This music won't do. There's not enough sarcasm in it.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Music, Sarcasm, Enough

  8 Copy quote

• We are suffering from too much sarcasm.

  Marianne Moore

  Sarcasm, Suffering, Criticism

  Marianne Moore, Patricia C. Willis (1986). “The complete prose of Marianne Moore”, Viking Pr

  7 Copy quote

  Show source

• When I first started writing, I was living in England and I had that uniquely English sense of sarcasm, which has definitely seemed to have left me. I am a naturalized American and my sensibility has become far more American.

  Jane Green

  Writing, Sarcasm, Firsts

  4 Copy quote

• You had to learn at a certain age what sarcasm is, you know?

  Penny Marshall

  Sarcasm, Age, Certain

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  5 Copy quote

  Show source

• PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Tools, Dupes, Patriot

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.179, University of Georgia Press

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

  Mark Twain

  Inspiration, Doors, Weather

  Mark Twain (2008). “Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World: Easyread Edition”, p.165, ReadHowYouWant.com

  9 Copy quote

  Show source

• PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Passion, Men, Long

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.189, University of Georgia Press

  7 Copy quote

  Show source

• While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Hands, Watches, Safe

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.68, University of Georgia Press

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Heirs, Vegetarian

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2369, Delphi Classics

  7 Copy quote

  Show source

• EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Religious, Religion, Damnation

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.57, 谷月社

  4 Copy quote

  Show source