When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.
God made yeast, as well as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.
Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
Instead of water we got here a draught of beer, a lumberer's drink, which would acclimate and naturalize a man at once,-which would make him see green, and, if he slept, dream that he heard the wind sough among the pines.
Drinking is a way of ending the day.
I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice.
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.
Drink is the feast of reason and the flow of soul.
or simply:
