Bill Hicks Quotes - Page 5

Quotes about:

• I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Motivational, Dad

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  52 Copy quote

• I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Humor, Two

  12 Copy quote

• Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.

  Bill Hicks

  Land, Pick Me Up, Might

  10 Copy quote

• I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

  Bill Hicks

  Happiness, Laughter, Revolutionary Ideas

  Bill Hicks (2009). “Love All the People (New Edition)”, p.336, Hachette UK

  12 Copy quote

• Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.

  Bill Hicks

  Music, Language, Music Is

  12 Copy quote

• They tell us "Rock'n'roll is the devil's music." Well, let's say we know that rock is the devil's music, and we know that it is, for sure ... At least he f-kin' jams! If it's a choice
  between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin' Block ... I'm gonna be surfin' on the lake of fire, rockin' out.

  Bill Hicks

  Block, Kids, Fire

  14 Copy quote

• I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.

  Bill Hicks

  Giving, Ego, Chance

  7 Copy quote

• Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.

  Bill Hicks

  Mistake, Marijuana, Law

  "Chicago '91". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1991.

  11 Copy quote

• While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.

  Bill Hicks

  Religious, Years, Freedom Of Speech

  17 Copy quote

• The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.

  Bill Hicks

  Light, Laughing, People

  13 Copy quote

• I saw...a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.

  Bill Hicks

  Kids, People, Saws

  10 Copy quote

• Humanity is just a virus with shoes.

  Bill Hicks

  Shoes, Humanity, Viruses

  8 Copy quote

• That's what I hate about the war on drugs. All day long we see those commercials: "Here's your brain, here's your brain on drugs", "Just Say No", "Why do you think they call it dope?" … And then the next commercial is [singing] "This Bud's for yooouuuu." C'mon, everybody, let's be hypocritical bastards. It's okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.

  Bill Hicks

  Hate, War, Dope

  "Flying Saucer Tour Vol. 1". Live album by Bill Hicks, 2002.

  16 Copy quote

• What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's gonna fuck up the economy! The economy that's fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government's cracking down... on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.

  Bill Hicks

  Government, Arms, Realizing

  "Love All the People".

  6 Copy quote

• The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.

  Bill Hicks

  Dream, Jeans, Three

  13 Copy quote

• Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.

  Bill Hicks

  Thinking, Mushrooms, Cows

  6 Copy quote

• I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . . Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you've chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You're dead too.

  Bill Hicks

  Reality, Information, Evening

  54 Copy quote

• We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?

  Bill Hicks

  Revolutionary Ideas, Growing, Thumbs

  "Filling Up the Hump". 1993.

  6 Copy quote

• They believe the bible is the exact word of God - Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? "I think what God meant to say..."

  Bill Hicks

  Believe, Thinking, Word Of God

  18 Copy quote

• England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States...23,000 deaths from handguns. But - there's no connection.

  Bill Hicks

  Gun, United States, Connections

  21 Copy quote

• It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Hurt, Comedian

  13 Copy quote

• Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?

  Bill Hicks

  Marijuana, Games, Drunk

  20 Copy quote

• As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.

  Bill Hicks

  Responsibility, Long, People

  10 Copy quote

• I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.

  Bill Hicks

  Party, Rocks, Enthusiasm

  4 Copy quote

• Isn't that weird, we've made nature against the law. That's how un-natural we've become.

  Bill Hicks

  Law, Natural, Made

  "Bill Hicks: Relentless". Documentary, Comedy, 1992.

  12 Copy quote

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