Bill Hicks Quotes - Page 3

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I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.

Bill Hicks

Funny, Humor, Glasses

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Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.

Bill Hicks

Nuts, Plot, Keith

"Love All the People".

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Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.

Bill Hicks

Ideas, Revolutionary Ideas, Next

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People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a UFO sighting?" Guy said, "Way-ul, we didn' wanna be ab-duc-ted." If I lived in Fife, Alabama, I would be on my hands and knees every night praying for abduction.

Bill Hicks

Funny, Humor, Night

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I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

Bill Hicks

Funny, Humor, Revolutionary Ideas

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That's starting to depress me about UFOs. The fact that they cross galaxies...and always end up in places like Fyfe, Alabama.

Bill Hicks

Depressing, Alabama, Facts

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I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

Bill Hicks

Funny, War, Humor

Bill Hicks at the "Just For Laughs" Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, 1990.

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I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.

Bill Hicks

Artist, Perception, Western Culture

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That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.

Bill Hicks

Drug, Facts, Psychedelic

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We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

Bill Hicks

Funny, Life, Humor

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not all drugs are good.. some of them are great

Bill Hicks

Drug

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The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.

Bill Hicks

Eye, Eyes Of Love

"Love All the People".

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I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

Bill Hicks

Funny, Humor, Mean

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I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.

Bill Hicks

Lying, Government, Talking

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Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.

Bill Hicks

Stupid, Government, America

"Rant in E-Minor". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1997.

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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.

Bill Hicks

Sound, Causes, Tvs

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I am available for children's parties, by the way.

Bill Hicks

Children, Party, Way

Bill Hicks (2009). “Love All the People (New Edition)”, p.87, Hachette UK

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I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'

Bill Hicks

Years, Clubs, Idiot

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I...am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light...in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.

Bill Hicks

Light, Mind, Source

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The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.

Bill Hicks

Book, Reading, Waffles

"Dangerous". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1990.

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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

Bill Hicks

Jesus, Real, Smoking

"Bill Hicks: Revelations". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1993.

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The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.

Bill Hicks

War, Home, Night

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Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.

Bill Hicks

Jail, People, Sick

"Rant in E-Minor". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1997.

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I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.

Bill Hicks

Christian, Believe, People

"Bill Hicks: Relentless", www.imdb.com. 1992.

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I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor - even President, it seemed. And for the first time in the history of mankind, something new, called an astronaut. But like so many kids brought up on a steady diet of Westerns, I always wanted to be the avenging cowboy hero - that lone voice in the wilderness, fighting corruption and evil wherever I found it, and standing for freedom, truth and justice. And in my heart of hearts I still track the remnants of that dream wherever I go, in my endless ride into the setting sun.

Bill Hicks

Dream, Hero, Heart

"Bill Hicks: Revelations". Documentary, Comedy, 1993.

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Born: December 16, 1961
Died: February 26, 1994
Occupation: Comedian
Cite this Page: Citation

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